I haven't come in here in HOW long? Part of me started thinking that I was stressing myself out more by coming in here and writing because instead of purging I was stewing. Well, the new school year is starting and it seems that we need to get the ball rolling.
Mystery - who has been gone all summer to TW's house came back the other day. Overall she has had a teensy bit more manners and 'cleared' a couple things with me. Granted she already cleared them with Daddy, so as far as I'm concerned it's just notification. Whatever. I have to say that I'm not happy about telling Daisy to go and tell Mystery to let the big dog outdoors. Mystery is downstairs and that's where we put him out. We have been dog-sitting and the little booger dog bugs the snot out of our dog, and for some reason Mystery told Daisy to put the little one out upstairs instead of putting the big one out.
I don't remember asking Mystery if the big one needs to go out. Is there a reason for her to question me? Put the effin' dog out! She wants to tell Daisy what to do, but my guess is that if it was me going down there then she wouldn't have told me that. She has a friend over and I'm not going to go and chastise her in front of her friend. I'm not sure why not, because I sure as hell would have done that in front of Glory's friends back in the day. I got up and went downstairs and put the damn dog out.
I got home from running to the store and Mystery pulls up in a small car. She's 17 so this isn't out of line, but where TF did she go, and who did she get in touch with? Surely Daddy. Sure wasn't me. She tells me that Jabber told her to tell me that he went to his friend's house. He called Daddy.
Oh joy.
I never raised kids like this and it's going to drive me nuckin futs.
On the plus side. Glory had a baby and she's healthy as can be. I'll bring her up more later when I decide on a name for her.
Showing posts with label Preschooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Preschooler. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Three year old kind of funny
As an AMA I do things diferently than I did 20 years ago when I was starting out with my first two kids. I now totally understand the relationship growing up between my mother and my youngest (of 5) brother. Everything was comical.
Today's example of comedy came from Daisy while driving home from the Golden Arches. She got a toy in her children's meal and while driving down the road I got called to from the back seat.
Daisy - "Hey Mommy! I need help!"
Me - "What?! What is it?"
Daisy - "I can't get my penguin out of my butt!"
Ok, maybe you had to be there. It had only fallen between her jacket and the seat, but let me tell you that she has some of the cutes cheeks on the planet! She had no clue howdarn cute that was, except for the fact that I came home and asked her about it while I dug out my cellphone to record it. Yepper, she did it again line for line, but now it is FUNNY (to her)!
Sorry internet pals. I never told you I had a real sense of humor!
Today's example of comedy came from Daisy while driving home from the Golden Arches. She got a toy in her children's meal and while driving down the road I got called to from the back seat.
Daisy - "Hey Mommy! I need help!"
Me - "What?! What is it?"
Daisy - "I can't get my penguin out of my butt!"
Ok, maybe you had to be there. It had only fallen between her jacket and the seat, but let me tell you that she has some of the cutes cheeks on the planet! She had no clue howdarn cute that was, except for the fact that I came home and asked her about it while I dug out my cellphone to record it. Yepper, she did it again line for line, but now it is FUNNY (to her)!
Sorry internet pals. I never told you I had a real sense of humor!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Some background
I'm not sure what started the spiral exactly. It seems like it was bound to happen, and just needed a kick in the pants along the way. Think about this. Mystery's mother walked out when she was 5 years old. She barely called and hardly visited for the next 3 years, and she lived in the same town. It was probably worse on Mystery than Jabber because she was old enough to understand that her mother was making a choice not to spend time with her. She learned about excuses pretty young.
Then I came along and I was really tight with my kids, especially with Glory. The mother/daughter stuff was a lot of what you'd want it to be, very close and active with each other constantly. So Mystery sees this and probably started to cling to her Daddy a little more for awhile and there was surely some jealousy mixed in there too because she had been the 'house mother' for a couple years.
When I was pregnant with Daisy is probably when it all started changing. Mystery and Glory shared a room and although Glory wasn't around too much they were often at odds with normal stuff like "Stop borowing my clothes!!!" I was harder on Glory about chores and things that I wanted her to be an example of and that had to have sucked for her. I know it did. Worse, nobody cared about the example and they did whateverTF they wanted! Daddy still wouldn't choose a battle about little stuff, but waited until the huge snowball hit! Snow boulder!
So, less attention for Mystery right? Nomal actions/reactions on both sides. Oh, one surprise though. Mystery never told anyone that she had a new sister on the way. Glory invited one of Mystery's friends and the Mom to the baby shower and they were the only ones that knew until Daisy was a couple weeks old. Mystery began using a crying baby as an excuse for lack of sleep to her teachers! Shoot, she was up sneaking her butt on the phone until all hours and paying ZERO attention to the baby! Daisy got sick at a couple months old. She got one of those things that she was just getting shots for but had already been exposed to. (I can't remember if I've shared this and will have to go back in the achives to see!) She was hospitalized in PICU for just short of a month and I stayed with her 95% of the time she was there. When we came home things at our house had gone haywire! Daddy let the animals run the zoo! Oh, he came and told on them while we were there, but there's only so much I could do by phoning it in!
It has to be right around then that they started going to TW's for more than one night here or there on weekends. About 6 months later I told Daddy that things were changing too much and they were disconnecting. We should keep them home EOW and establish 'normal' with our family. He sounded just plain tired of dealing with conflicts and would only agree to keeping them one weekend a month. That last for about 7 months. Lately I can tell you that I'm tired and relieved when they're gone.
It's because there's nothing here when they're here. I can tell you that I have heard the two of them talking and Mystery has blurted little things when she is ticked off. They don't need me for anything. There is no doubt in my mind that TW has drilled it into their heads that I am nothing to them and they do not need me for anything. If they want something they should never ask me for it. Half of the reason for that is because I insist that they ask in the form of a question with manners. If there's no please in it then I ask them to repeat it. Heck I did the same thing with my bio kids and it didn't kill them! If you want something then ask, instead of telling someone that you want it and expecting them to jump.
An example. We live less than a mile from the school that Mystery attends. I used to get up and give Glory a ride to school when she asked. She got a ride sometimes too, so it was inconsistent. If there was snow on the car then I expected Glory to help me wipe/scrape it off and getting the car warmed up, possibly bundling up Daisy while I did that. Something! Not just at her beck and call. Mystery is a whole different kid though. Because she would have had to phrase it as a question in the first place she wouldn't do it. She informed Daddy that she was going to have him drop her off at MIL's house and she'd have her drive her to school 20 minutes later. Turns out that she informed MIL too. And they did it for most of one year! In the spring MIL apparently put her foot down and told her to walk from here because the weather was nice enough. The next year she began having Daddy bring her to the school when he left for work and she would wait until classes started. Doing this made her arrive 40 minutes before! What teen do you know that wants to get up and go to school 40 minutes before it starts? Heck, almost a half hour before any other kids get there! But all this happens just so she won't have to ask me for a thing.
LOL, she walks a lot of places. She won't ask me, and Daddy has stopped being a constant taxi for her, citing that she needs to ask instead of inform him. Yayyy!! He picks and chooses when he'll go with things like that, but I'll take them where I can get them! In truh she only half makes her plans and then ends up calling him to come and get her when the plans that she said she made don't materialize. I have to say that I don't like that she's 16 yrs old and walks around after dark by herself at times. We're in a pretty quiet residental neighborhood, but sometimes that is not the place to bewalking all by yourself. If I never let Glory do it at that age then why would I want her to? Shoot! Her with her tight jeans and booty all out there and everything! Looking all badass, but it's all a bunch of hype! She can talk a good game, and I think her friends are her friends so that they aren't on her bad side but she's all talk. Trust me!
I'm not trying to pick on her. I'm trying to survive around here. I take so much crap from my step-kids that I would never take from Daddy even. Being ignored to my face, if I ask them to help do something one way then it seems like they bend over backwards NOT to do it. And lied to. They know that Daddy chooses his battle a lot more lax than I do and they rely on that so they can shortcut everything. He gets sick of me telling him about whatever one of them did, but he won't do anything that would allow me to have any final authority. Hey, if he'd let me set a limit and then tell them that if they don't do it he'll make it 3x worse then maybe they'd start listening to me, ya think?
I just know that we are only ever in the same room at the same time for a VERY small percentage of any day. When he's not here neither one of them has no problem ignoring me, walking away while I'm still talking or doing an exact opposite of whatever it was right in front of me. Saying they're sorry means get off my back but I'll do it again every time.
A counselor/shrink would have a field day with us, right!
Then I came along and I was really tight with my kids, especially with Glory. The mother/daughter stuff was a lot of what you'd want it to be, very close and active with each other constantly. So Mystery sees this and probably started to cling to her Daddy a little more for awhile and there was surely some jealousy mixed in there too because she had been the 'house mother' for a couple years.
When I was pregnant with Daisy is probably when it all started changing. Mystery and Glory shared a room and although Glory wasn't around too much they were often at odds with normal stuff like "Stop borowing my clothes!!!" I was harder on Glory about chores and things that I wanted her to be an example of and that had to have sucked for her. I know it did. Worse, nobody cared about the example and they did whateverTF they wanted! Daddy still wouldn't choose a battle about little stuff, but waited until the huge snowball hit! Snow boulder!
So, less attention for Mystery right? Nomal actions/reactions on both sides. Oh, one surprise though. Mystery never told anyone that she had a new sister on the way. Glory invited one of Mystery's friends and the Mom to the baby shower and they were the only ones that knew until Daisy was a couple weeks old. Mystery began using a crying baby as an excuse for lack of sleep to her teachers! Shoot, she was up sneaking her butt on the phone until all hours and paying ZERO attention to the baby! Daisy got sick at a couple months old. She got one of those things that she was just getting shots for but had already been exposed to. (I can't remember if I've shared this and will have to go back in the achives to see!) She was hospitalized in PICU for just short of a month and I stayed with her 95% of the time she was there. When we came home things at our house had gone haywire! Daddy let the animals run the zoo! Oh, he came and told on them while we were there, but there's only so much I could do by phoning it in!
It has to be right around then that they started going to TW's for more than one night here or there on weekends. About 6 months later I told Daddy that things were changing too much and they were disconnecting. We should keep them home EOW and establish 'normal' with our family. He sounded just plain tired of dealing with conflicts and would only agree to keeping them one weekend a month. That last for about 7 months. Lately I can tell you that I'm tired and relieved when they're gone.
It's because there's nothing here when they're here. I can tell you that I have heard the two of them talking and Mystery has blurted little things when she is ticked off. They don't need me for anything. There is no doubt in my mind that TW has drilled it into their heads that I am nothing to them and they do not need me for anything. If they want something they should never ask me for it. Half of the reason for that is because I insist that they ask in the form of a question with manners. If there's no please in it then I ask them to repeat it. Heck I did the same thing with my bio kids and it didn't kill them! If you want something then ask, instead of telling someone that you want it and expecting them to jump.
An example. We live less than a mile from the school that Mystery attends. I used to get up and give Glory a ride to school when she asked. She got a ride sometimes too, so it was inconsistent. If there was snow on the car then I expected Glory to help me wipe/scrape it off and getting the car warmed up, possibly bundling up Daisy while I did that. Something! Not just at her beck and call. Mystery is a whole different kid though. Because she would have had to phrase it as a question in the first place she wouldn't do it. She informed Daddy that she was going to have him drop her off at MIL's house and she'd have her drive her to school 20 minutes later. Turns out that she informed MIL too. And they did it for most of one year! In the spring MIL apparently put her foot down and told her to walk from here because the weather was nice enough. The next year she began having Daddy bring her to the school when he left for work and she would wait until classes started. Doing this made her arrive 40 minutes before! What teen do you know that wants to get up and go to school 40 minutes before it starts? Heck, almost a half hour before any other kids get there! But all this happens just so she won't have to ask me for a thing.
LOL, she walks a lot of places. She won't ask me, and Daddy has stopped being a constant taxi for her, citing that she needs to ask instead of inform him. Yayyy!! He picks and chooses when he'll go with things like that, but I'll take them where I can get them! In truh she only half makes her plans and then ends up calling him to come and get her when the plans that she said she made don't materialize. I have to say that I don't like that she's 16 yrs old and walks around after dark by herself at times. We're in a pretty quiet residental neighborhood, but sometimes that is not the place to bewalking all by yourself. If I never let Glory do it at that age then why would I want her to? Shoot! Her with her tight jeans and booty all out there and everything! Looking all badass, but it's all a bunch of hype! She can talk a good game, and I think her friends are her friends so that they aren't on her bad side but she's all talk. Trust me!
I'm not trying to pick on her. I'm trying to survive around here. I take so much crap from my step-kids that I would never take from Daddy even. Being ignored to my face, if I ask them to help do something one way then it seems like they bend over backwards NOT to do it. And lied to. They know that Daddy chooses his battle a lot more lax than I do and they rely on that so they can shortcut everything. He gets sick of me telling him about whatever one of them did, but he won't do anything that would allow me to have any final authority. Hey, if he'd let me set a limit and then tell them that if they don't do it he'll make it 3x worse then maybe they'd start listening to me, ya think?
I just know that we are only ever in the same room at the same time for a VERY small percentage of any day. When he's not here neither one of them has no problem ignoring me, walking away while I'm still talking or doing an exact opposite of whatever it was right in front of me. Saying they're sorry means get off my back but I'll do it again every time.
A counselor/shrink would have a field day with us, right!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I don't like to post angry all the time and I'm quite angry lately. I've got a few skills that 've learned along the way and they're just not helping me out enough right now. So I've been quiet, with a few comments on others' blogs here and there. Please know that I do go in and read quite often, and I try to comment when I hit a moment of clarity. Sometimes it just hits me and isn't as clear but I give it a shot. Comments can come to mean a lot and I know that, so even if I just feel a quick "I agree with you" comes on I've tried to do it.
I have a job now and I went to orientation the other day. It's not in my career fied, it's a seasonal job in retail, and I'm working the midnight shift. Hey, I need to generate an income and not spend most of it on childcare so this is my first best option. We'll see how I do, if they offer to keep me after the holidays or not and if the shift is working for me. I have my first night shift tomorrow. If anything send me lots of wide awake vibes!
And I may have to talk about things with Mystery and Jabber lately. I'm really ticked at Daddy that things have been evolving to the way that they are and I've tried to work through some individual issues as they've come up but let's just say that I'm getting tired of being the invisible effing maid in my own home. Courtesy doesn't exist except a occasional "Sorry" and neither one of them would do a darn thing different the next time. This has been proven time and time again. The only saving grace lately is that the fall sports season is over so they both go to TW's house from Friday until Sunday. Peaceful.
On the brighter side here. We will have a new President soon! Yayyyyyy!
Man, that was a lot of typos when I hit post. Sorry, I meant to hit draft and check better! Hopefully I'll come up with a better post next time but I'm also on Cha.ntix and a week into it, so I know that isn't helping my disposition either, but I'm at 4 days with no butts and it is the right thing to do. I'll be back soon!
I have a job now and I went to orientation the other day. It's not in my career fied, it's a seasonal job in retail, and I'm working the midnight shift. Hey, I need to generate an income and not spend most of it on childcare so this is my first best option. We'll see how I do, if they offer to keep me after the holidays or not and if the shift is working for me. I have my first night shift tomorrow. If anything send me lots of wide awake vibes!
And I may have to talk about things with Mystery and Jabber lately. I'm really ticked at Daddy that things have been evolving to the way that they are and I've tried to work through some individual issues as they've come up but let's just say that I'm getting tired of being the invisible effing maid in my own home. Courtesy doesn't exist except a occasional "Sorry" and neither one of them would do a darn thing different the next time. This has been proven time and time again. The only saving grace lately is that the fall sports season is over so they both go to TW's house from Friday until Sunday. Peaceful.
On the brighter side here. We will have a new President soon! Yayyyyyy!
Man, that was a lot of typos when I hit post. Sorry, I meant to hit draft and check better! Hopefully I'll come up with a better post next time but I'm also on Cha.ntix and a week into it, so I know that isn't helping my disposition either, but I'm at 4 days with no butts and it is the right thing to do. I'll be back soon!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
If you don't like it then just go ask Daddy!
I should preface everything that I say to Jabber and Mystery with that phrase! Because I'm obviously never the final fucking word around here!
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Time flies
Sheesh, I didn't even realize that it's been this long since I posted here, bu I guess so! I'm going for an interview tomorrow for a job that seems kind of mindless and I'll take it if it's what I can get but I'm not sure how long I'd last there. I'm qualified to work with small children and have done that for many years, staying home now with Daisy since the whole pregnancy was high risk due to Advanced Maternal Age. Ha! I didn't feel old until near the end of my pregnancy!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The weekend is coming! Yayyy!!!
I'm pretty tired this week. I'm actually going a mile a minute because Daddy and I have been trying to figure out things with getting a J.O.B.
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
You HAVE to choose?
Oh, NO I don't and neither should they! HAVE to, that is.It's just not necesary to be that dumb. Mystery's school "ECI" (Emergency Contact Information) sheet came home and there are some things that these people just have never gotten right! That and I knew that we were adding TW to the mail list this year so that she doesn't 'borrow' our copy of progress reports and report cards and then never return them. This is something that she has always been completely with her rights to do, but for whatever reason has not asserted herself. Well Boo! If she doesn't want it then she can call the school and tell them! How's that going to look/sound?!
But this wasn't even the 'fun' of yesterday. On Jabber's form they had him checked off for Black and for White. I told the lady at Mystery's school office that they had apparently switched her status because it has NEVER been simply one of the other. (I think I would know!) She stood there and showed me the computer screen and said that she can't change that.
I love when I have a clue about how to work a computer and other people don't! Hold down the control key to select more than one from the list ya dummy! Ok, not everyone knows that stuff but when you have a job which requires some computer skills you'd think that this might be one of the basic ones? Shoot, to me that's like not knowing how to copy & paste! I mentioned along the way here that the folks at Jabber's school in town are capable of doing that with his information and that I really thought that since they use the same system that they would be able to do so as well. I asked if I needed to call the superintendent's office to make sure that this is a function that the schools were capable of and then I ended up leaving the office with her and the young gal beside her talking about me. You can tell when that happens because you turn around and their mouths are in a freeze frame, right?
I went home and called the data people at the school department. I figure that I can ask them if the system is capable of making this choice before I go over everyone's heads. After waiting on hold for a minute she told me to talk to the VP at Mystery's school and that she had consulted with another worker in her office who confirmed that this IS something that the system is capable of. I got voicemail when I got through the VP's line and I haven't gotten the call back that I asked for, but it's very interesting to see that the online system now reflects the change that I requested in the first place!
Time to get the old biddy behind the counter to drop the attitude. Maybe she doesn't think people should be both, or able to choose more than one? Maybe she doesn't care?
White privilege isn't always in your face stuff, you know? I think it is important for the statistics for the school as well as the more important point of not making a child choose. Heck, if your mother is french and your father is greek then which one are you supposed to choose on a form? How do you make the choice? Choose which family customs you are most familiar with and practice more? What if one isn't more than the other? I remember looking at one of these graphs back when we were looking to buy our home in this city. Wondering how much of the statistics are actually true? My preschooler isn't in the public school system yet but please know that I'm prepared to start out with her from the very beginning of Kindergarten and work my way through bugging the snot out of people that could care less because it doesn't affect them!
White privilege isn't always in your face stuff, you know? I think it is important for the statistics for the school as well as the more important point of not making a child choose. Heck, if your mother is french and your father is greek then which one are you supposed to choose on a form? How do you make the choice? Choose which family customs you are most familiar with and practice more? What if one isn't more than the other? I remember looking at one of these graphs back when we were looking to buy our home in this city. Wondering how much of the statistics are actually true? My preschooler isn't in the public school system yet but please know that I'm prepared to start out with her from the very beginning of Kindergarten and work my way through bugging the snot out of people that could care less because it doesn't affect them!Let me get off my pedestal now and go do something that isn't going to nag at my brain! I just had to say that these people that work for us really ought to be checked on their own biases and how what they do and say affects other people. Whether they care or not.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I am NOT a Martha wannabe!
OMG I don't believe that I'm doing this! Remember the new baby in our extended family? Well, this is an in-law thing. Actually there's the one that came early and another family member due at the end of next month, sibling to the first one!
So the grandmother of the new babies decided that they would have a joint baby shower. Something about not having to figure out how to do equal but separate showers. Whatever! My in-laws are procrastinators. They got the hall set up as far as the rental and all the rules and stuff, with the decorating taking place that morning. Oh, and it's this weekend by the way.
So my MIL weeds things through to me. I've spoken to the grandmother a couple times and she asked if I could do 'this' and 'this' and what I would need. It's computer graphics, why wouldn't I be able to do it?! No supplies purchased since July and nobody has shown up to select graphics. We live about 6 miles apart!
Now my MIL wants me to do something and participate. At the very least to not be left out. She somehow decided to make those colored chocolate lollipops and candies in molds. Egads! I am NOT the one! I can do a whole lot of homey, crafty stuff and I can do it pretty darn well. I just don't like this little crap! Ok, I'm not a big chocolate eater anyway, but it's more than just chocolate. They have to have ribbons around the little baggies and a plastic trinket attached. I'm sorry, but some of these frills are lost on me!
But I told MIL that I'd do it with her. Ha! I corralled Mystery into it just by waiting until MIL asked if she wanted to and then I asked her to choose the day we'd do it! Daisy came with us because it's a girl thing. If here's any kind of shower, that's a girl thing and I was raised with age not being a factor in that. All girls come!
We went to make them today and she bought chocolate that SUCKS! It melts and then before all the chunks melt some of it is overheated and starts burning! WTF?! We did that with 4 bags and decided that it just wasn't cutting it. Now I get to go pick up more bags for MIL tomorrow during the day (since I don't work and don't have a thing planned for any weekday, ever)! Next she says that she's going to make them herself tomorrow! Um, NOoooooo! It's too big of a job on the scale that she's talking about! I also dont' want to go back and spend the whole night at her house again tomorrow. So I offer to take the whole box of supplies and get started on it tomorrow. This is going to screw up my entire day! I'm thinking that I'm making some big points with my MIL! LOL, I'd better! I'm going to miss you all tomorrow! (Unless I say screw it and go at a snails pace and end up taking maybe 19 hours to do it! LOL, how much candy can 60 women eat?!
Wish me luck!
So the grandmother of the new babies decided that they would have a joint baby shower. Something about not having to figure out how to do equal but separate showers. Whatever! My in-laws are procrastinators. They got the hall set up as far as the rental and all the rules and stuff, with the decorating taking place that morning. Oh, and it's this weekend by the way.
So my MIL weeds things through to me. I've spoken to the grandmother a couple times and she asked if I could do 'this' and 'this' and what I would need. It's computer graphics, why wouldn't I be able to do it?! No supplies purchased since July and nobody has shown up to select graphics. We live about 6 miles apart!
Now my MIL wants me to do something and participate. At the very least to not be left out. She somehow decided to make those colored chocolate lollipops and candies in molds. Egads! I am NOT the one! I can do a whole lot of homey, crafty stuff and I can do it pretty darn well. I just don't like this little crap! Ok, I'm not a big chocolate eater anyway, but it's more than just chocolate. They have to have ribbons around the little baggies and a plastic trinket attached. I'm sorry, but some of these frills are lost on me!
But I told MIL that I'd do it with her. Ha! I corralled Mystery into it just by waiting until MIL asked if she wanted to and then I asked her to choose the day we'd do it! Daisy came with us because it's a girl thing. If here's any kind of shower, that's a girl thing and I was raised with age not being a factor in that. All girls come!
We went to make them today and she bought chocolate that SUCKS! It melts and then before all the chunks melt some of it is overheated and starts burning! WTF?! We did that with 4 bags and decided that it just wasn't cutting it. Now I get to go pick up more bags for MIL tomorrow during the day (since I don't work and don't have a thing planned for any weekday, ever)! Next she says that she's going to make them herself tomorrow! Um, NOoooooo! It's too big of a job on the scale that she's talking about! I also dont' want to go back and spend the whole night at her house again tomorrow. So I offer to take the whole box of supplies and get started on it tomorrow. This is going to screw up my entire day! I'm thinking that I'm making some big points with my MIL! LOL, I'd better! I'm going to miss you all tomorrow! (Unless I say screw it and go at a snails pace and end up taking maybe 19 hours to do it! LOL, how much candy can 60 women eat?!
Wish me luck!
It's that tone
The tone that drives me nuts. The tone that they don't speak to me in, but I get to listen to them speak to just about everyone else with. It's not just a teen thing because they've been perfecting this one for years. Years before I came on the scene. Trust me!
First of all you have to hear it. Picture one word. Daddy. Now take that word and put a whine on it. Now take that word (and whine) and add a WhyTF are you bothering me tone that makes it into a question. Now hear that just about every time Mystery is approached by her father last night. Jabber doesn't do it often (thank godness), but he does know how.
Daddy says "Here Mystery, make sure that you come over here and wash the grease off the stove where it splattered."
We hear "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then "I didn't do over there yet!" Whatever! We've BTDT and know what we're talking about! It wouldn't be the first time! Oh, and along with the WhyTF part comes a stop bothering me part to it that is either implied by tone or sometimes actually spoken out loud.
But doesn't that sound just piss you off to have to hear it? It does for me! When you think about it I can tell you for a certainty that she knows not to speak to ME in that voice because not only will I call her on it, but if I have to tell on her I will! Most of all just calling her on it works by now, but trust me that in the first couple of years she felt that she could speak to me in any way she wanted to. So why does she speak to other people like that? Because they LET her!
My guess is that most of them don't care. Or care enough. I can tell you that Daddy and his family (MIL, SIL) don't feel like bothering with redirecting. In my opinion they are all doing a great disservice to anyone in earshot and also to the child who learns that this form of communicating is acceptable and normal. This girl speaks like the world owes her something most of the time. And she wonders why she can't get a job!
Tell me please. Is it just me that thinks that this is nuts? That raising children who speak their mind without consideration for others is not doing them any favors? All about me. Ugh!
I've already raised a couple of kids and it didn't kill them that I didn't allow this form of expression. I guess it concerns me more because besides it being totally irritating to have to listen to, I have a young child here. One that copies from her siblings and believes that they are examples for her. It's funny but Daddy often shows that he has similar expectations of her that I do, but he doesn't have the same for Mystery and Jabber. Ugh! Like he already gave up on them?
Talk to me?
First of all you have to hear it. Picture one word. Daddy. Now take that word and put a whine on it. Now take that word (and whine) and add a WhyTF are you bothering me tone that makes it into a question. Now hear that just about every time Mystery is approached by her father last night. Jabber doesn't do it often (thank godness), but he does know how.Daddy says "Here Mystery, make sure that you come over here and wash the grease off the stove where it splattered."
We hear "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then "I didn't do over there yet!" Whatever! We've BTDT and know what we're talking about! It wouldn't be the first time! Oh, and along with the WhyTF part comes a stop bothering me part to it that is either implied by tone or sometimes actually spoken out loud.
But doesn't that sound just piss you off to have to hear it? It does for me! When you think about it I can tell you for a certainty that she knows not to speak to ME in that voice because not only will I call her on it, but if I have to tell on her I will! Most of all just calling her on it works by now, but trust me that in the first couple of years she felt that she could speak to me in any way she wanted to. So why does she speak to other people like that? Because they LET her!
My guess is that most of them don't care. Or care enough. I can tell you that Daddy and his family (MIL, SIL) don't feel like bothering with redirecting. In my opinion they are all doing a great disservice to anyone in earshot and also to the child who learns that this form of communicating is acceptable and normal. This girl speaks like the world owes her something most of the time. And she wonders why she can't get a job!
Tell me please. Is it just me that thinks that this is nuts? That raising children who speak their mind without consideration for others is not doing them any favors? All about me. Ugh!
I've already raised a couple of kids and it didn't kill them that I didn't allow this form of expression. I guess it concerns me more because besides it being totally irritating to have to listen to, I have a young child here. One that copies from her siblings and believes that they are examples for her. It's funny but Daddy often shows that he has similar expectations of her that I do, but he doesn't have the same for Mystery and Jabber. Ugh! Like he already gave up on them?
Talk to me?
Friday, September 5, 2008
When it all happens in a short time!
Geez I hate when I don't have the brain power or energy to update and get behind! Let' see how much of this I can squeeze in and process as competent thoughts! I guess a list might help and is worth a try.
- Top of the list has to be that I went to the neurologist and he put me on BP medication. I woke up the first day and the fucking buzzing isn't going on in my head! Yeah, I don't usually spell that word out without a star or something in it, but this calls for the real deal! He said that I probably never had TMJ or sinus infections, but have definitely got a migraine thing going on and it seems to be at it's peak because of my age and hormones. The buzzing thing isn't really buzzing, but a fuzzy vision and probably a light-headed, disoriented feeling that I've had for 2 years! Two frikkin years ago I went in to get checked for it and they sent me to the eye Doc and said that I was fine except that for the pre-glaucoma stuff. But that's still in the "pre" stage. How bad would that tick you off that you've been telling people for 2 frikkin years and this one itty-bitty, tiny pill takes away that? Now I'm just hoping that it's not a honeymoon stage with the meds and it will go away again!
- School started for the 2 kiddos here. Yes, that means that Mystery is back here after spending the summer with TW. It was nice while it lasted. Daisy is in 7th heaven to have her sister here and someone else to hang out with. Her fingernails are now being polished on a daily basis! The downside is that we're seeing a bit of an attitude in our 3 year old. (Wonder where she's learning that?!) Exactly what I've been afraid of, but it's not going un-noticed and even Daddy sees some of it and is addressing it. Funny thing is that he also addresses it with Mystery and not just Daisy, but Mystery never got called on some of this stuff before! Yeah for having taken a break and realizing what you don't miss and overlooked before!
- Jabber's moved in to his new bedroom! He's downstairs now and not up here bouncing around, keeping Daisy all excited and impossible to get to sleep! He was very excited to come home from TW's and find that we had basically moved him in while he was gone. There are 2 small things that need finishing touches in the room, but they're almost un-noticable so he could really care less!
- The new baby that was born a 30 week premie was released from the hospital last week when she made it up to 4 pounds! She is the tiniest thing, but with no medical concerns for health problems because of her prematurity. I've heard that as far as premie statistics go she's in the highest category for success by her gender and race, and that is surely an advantage here! The shower for her and the other new baby girl that is due at the end of October is coming up and my ILs that are involved in the planning of this are waiting for everything to be done last minute. "Oh Mimi, can you make 'these' on the computer for the shower?" Well sh*t, what can't I make for them on the computer? It's just some graphics on labels! Of course I have no materials to work with at this point and they've been asking me about it for over 2 months, but I'm sure they'll want me to pull it out of my ass at the last minute! LOL, that and bake or cook something!
- Glory update. Her EDD passed last week and we spoke on the phone a couple of times that day. She sang Happy Birthday and sounds wistful about trying to get pregnant again. I'm crossing my fingers that she and her hubby (I'm going to have to think of another name for him because Glory-Be doesn't feel like it's cutting it!) have to have a few more of their ducks lined up before they try again. So many things might not have had to be as hard as they were when she had her miscarriage if they'd been more 'set'. (Like in jobs, where rent is coming from, etc.!)
- Oh, Glory gets two numbers here. She also called me and told me that the camera that I sent to her got stolen. They were out of town, partying with 'friends' and the only possibility here is that one of them stole it out of the console of the car when she and her DH ran in a store. WhoTF hangs out with people that steal from you?!! Part of the ducks in a row thing is about not hanging out with these kind of people! I know that my Glory isn't perfect but these are not people that she finds, her husband does. I never wanted to be one of those MIL's, but this kind of crap could bring me to it.
- It's been 20 years this week since the SIDS baby "T" died. Daisy and I went and got some flowers and brought them to the cemetery. I haven't talked to T's Mom in many years because I moved almost an hour away and I'd love to be able to but not sure if she would be at this point. Remembering back to when he died I know that she said that they buried him there because there were people that would remember him and I want to make sure that she somehow knows that I'm still among them.
- I saw Charming for a couple minutes after going to the cemetery. This one's going to get a whole post of it's own as soon as I get to it because I just looked back and can't seem to find some information that I thought I've shared here before. I'll get back to you later on this!
- That's enough for now! I actually have to get my butt up from sitting today and do some running around! I'll be back though!
PS. dragonmctt, thanks for the comment recently on the old ADHD post! I'm going to be goo.gling and then maybe shoot you an email to see if you have more info or links to share! It sounds like our guy in most every way that you listed!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
On being effective
Daddy tells me that he really hates it when he comes home and I tell him about things or events that have taken place since Jabber & Mystery have gotten home from school. Basically things that he needs to deal with. I didn't think of a quick response at the time (it was one of those headACHE days) but by now I have! I think that I'm waiting for another opportunity and I hope to find one that doesn't present itself in a stressful situation.
Basically it's that he has rendered me ineffective. Whatever I say is not gospel, it is just what floats until Daddy gets home. He thinks I'm too picky and choose too many battles. That I should lighten up and just relax. Well, let's just give one example of relaxing here.
These two children do not know how to speak in english. I'm not a huge grammar nut, but they are really lazy and absolutely want to come off as 'cool' at every moment. A little ebonics, slang, teen-speak, and mostly lazy speech. Of course there is the internet sland and abbreviations at play here as well, using them as if they were part of the english language! Mystery no longer knows how to speak without using "was like, and then like, I mean like and other variations using like instead of what she actually means. Jabber is stuck with me here more and he knows that it's not just me crawling up his butt because I have told him many times that I do not want anyone teaching Daisy to speak like that and not know english in the first place.
He does have grammar issues and I'm really just talking about standard things like using complete sentences. I think with him some of it is his ADHD because he seems to move ahead to the next thing in his brain and forget that the actual subject or other important part of the sentence structure is missing. A lot of the rest is just lazy and since there are so many other lazy folks around him (his peers, Mystery and yes, Daddy and I sometimes too) that take shortcuts it is supposed to be acceptable. Yes, everybody does this sometimes. My thing is that they should know what the actual version of some of this stuff is too. At our household I don't believe that these two do.
The thing that we've heard a lot lately is the word "wid" or "wit" instead of "with". Jabber will write that on schoolwork and not be corrected and that drives me nuts. The teachers tell me that "Oh, they eventually 'get' stuff like that." When in the heck will they if they don't get called on it? Jabber gets 105% on his paper because the points that he was being taught were successful, but when you look at the paper it is really awful that they consider a paper with so many mistakes better than 100%!
If they're supposed to eventually get this stuff then maybe it is because the school system believes that the children are being taught some of this stuff at home? Daddy thinks that we are the ones that are supposed to ease up an they will get taught some of that at school! Ya think?
Mystery applied for a couple of jobs last spring. She had an interview for one and when she came home and told me play-by-play how the interview went and what her responses were I had to bite my tongue. I am not the least bit surprised that they didn't want to hire her! She spoke in slang/lazy terms, didn't seem to consider her responses before talking and was probably really nervous and giddy throughout. Yes, that could be an age thing, but that she didn't seem to have a clue was probably one reason that she wasn't called back. Shoot, I know that I wouldn't have hired her! And in her own little world where life is all rosey and on her terms she should be rich by now! She's been 16 since March and has nothing going to get her driver's license. Daddy got her the state book to read to go take the test at the beginning of the summer but do you think she's done anything? Probably has read 3 pages and stopped thinking that she'll cram the night efore she takes it.
I'm going offbase here! If I can't even be effective on some of the simple day-to-day stuff around here then he's just going to have to keep covering those bases. He'll have to be the one to put his foot down because he has not allowed me the ability to do so effectively here.
If you are in a step-family is there one person that lays down the law? What happens to the other person?
Basically it's that he has rendered me ineffective. Whatever I say is not gospel, it is just what floats until Daddy gets home. He thinks I'm too picky and choose too many battles. That I should lighten up and just relax. Well, let's just give one example of relaxing here.
These two children do not know how to speak in english. I'm not a huge grammar nut, but they are really lazy and absolutely want to come off as 'cool' at every moment. A little ebonics, slang, teen-speak, and mostly lazy speech. Of course there is the internet sland and abbreviations at play here as well, using them as if they were part of the english language! Mystery no longer knows how to speak without using "was like, and then like, I mean like and other variations using like instead of what she actually means. Jabber is stuck with me here more and he knows that it's not just me crawling up his butt because I have told him many times that I do not want anyone teaching Daisy to speak like that and not know english in the first place.
He does have grammar issues and I'm really just talking about standard things like using complete sentences. I think with him some of it is his ADHD because he seems to move ahead to the next thing in his brain and forget that the actual subject or other important part of the sentence structure is missing. A lot of the rest is just lazy and since there are so many other lazy folks around him (his peers, Mystery and yes, Daddy and I sometimes too) that take shortcuts it is supposed to be acceptable. Yes, everybody does this sometimes. My thing is that they should know what the actual version of some of this stuff is too. At our household I don't believe that these two do.
The thing that we've heard a lot lately is the word "wid" or "wit" instead of "with". Jabber will write that on schoolwork and not be corrected and that drives me nuts. The teachers tell me that "Oh, they eventually 'get' stuff like that." When in the heck will they if they don't get called on it? Jabber gets 105% on his paper because the points that he was being taught were successful, but when you look at the paper it is really awful that they consider a paper with so many mistakes better than 100%!
If they're supposed to eventually get this stuff then maybe it is because the school system believes that the children are being taught some of this stuff at home? Daddy thinks that we are the ones that are supposed to ease up an they will get taught some of that at school! Ya think?
Mystery applied for a couple of jobs last spring. She had an interview for one and when she came home and told me play-by-play how the interview went and what her responses were I had to bite my tongue. I am not the least bit surprised that they didn't want to hire her! She spoke in slang/lazy terms, didn't seem to consider her responses before talking and was probably really nervous and giddy throughout. Yes, that could be an age thing, but that she didn't seem to have a clue was probably one reason that she wasn't called back. Shoot, I know that I wouldn't have hired her! And in her own little world where life is all rosey and on her terms she should be rich by now! She's been 16 since March and has nothing going to get her driver's license. Daddy got her the state book to read to go take the test at the beginning of the summer but do you think she's done anything? Probably has read 3 pages and stopped thinking that she'll cram the night efore she takes it.
I'm going offbase here! If I can't even be effective on some of the simple day-to-day stuff around here then he's just going to have to keep covering those bases. He'll have to be the one to put his foot down because he has not allowed me the ability to do so effectively here.
If you are in a step-family is there one person that lays down the law? What happens to the other person?
Friday, August 15, 2008
Would there be, could there be
a time when you can imagine getting along with the former spouse? Right after hell freezes over you say?! Yepper, same here!
She used to love me! In all fairness to her that was years before, and I was involved in the life of only one of her children then. I was Mystery's pre-K teacher. I was also the visiting cousin's teacher the year before that so I had some exposure to some family members but not a lot. TW used to be the one that came and do the drop-off and pick-up, and I only met Mystery's father one time when he came to pick up. That would be when Jabber was born, and I don't think I even knew that TW was pregnant until my future SIL (who worked at the same pace) told me about her new nephew.
But the sun used to rise and set with me! I was a pretty darn cool pre-K teacher and TW knew that she loved the way that the year went for Mystery. When Jabber got old enough we knew that he would go into my classroom just because I had a prior relationship with the family. That's just the way it was done around there. TW was so happy that he got put in my class and the sun rose and set with me again! A couple weeks later they moved Jabber only because they were re-assigning by birthdates and he was 6 months too young for my classroom. It's a much longer story than this but it was several months later when I began dating Daddy. Because of ethics and all I was not going to get nailed for "Daddy chasing". You can imagine what a huge taboo that was?! I wasn't hated until a month or so after that when TW found out what 'the girlfriend's' name was. Now I'm pond scum. Whatever. The information that I had on her by that time didn't make me want to hang with her anyway!
I do know how to be friendly with others. Look at me and Sparkles! If that don't beat all, right?! TW decided early on that she was going to be a bitch toward me and that's just the way it was. I can see resenting that someone else spends more time with your kids, but then go ahead and spend that time yourself!! You could have been doing that all along!
I do wish that she could be more of a human being. It's just not possible, I swear! Whatever she does she must poison her children so that they have "0" (that a zero!) respect for me and will try to buck the system around here wherever possible. I swear that I'm going to give her 90% credit for all of the hating that Mystery has bestowed on me! For the first couple of years here she still stayed in the background and had little to do with her kids. When Daisy was born and Mystery wanted more attention, she somehow seemed to either forgive TW for the years of abandonment or decided that it was payback time and she was going to guilt TW into it.
I just can't picture TW dropping her hateful stance toward me. If she were to ever do so I can picture her trying to communicate with me before she might try to with Daddy because he really isn't into giving her any more chances for much of anything. That would be a very long road, though one that I just can't imagine travelling.
So... would you, could you imagine getting along with your spouse's former spouse?
She used to love me! In all fairness to her that was years before, and I was involved in the life of only one of her children then. I was Mystery's pre-K teacher. I was also the visiting cousin's teacher the year before that so I had some exposure to some family members but not a lot. TW used to be the one that came and do the drop-off and pick-up, and I only met Mystery's father one time when he came to pick up. That would be when Jabber was born, and I don't think I even knew that TW was pregnant until my future SIL (who worked at the same pace) told me about her new nephew.
But the sun used to rise and set with me! I was a pretty darn cool pre-K teacher and TW knew that she loved the way that the year went for Mystery. When Jabber got old enough we knew that he would go into my classroom just because I had a prior relationship with the family. That's just the way it was done around there. TW was so happy that he got put in my class and the sun rose and set with me again! A couple weeks later they moved Jabber only because they were re-assigning by birthdates and he was 6 months too young for my classroom. It's a much longer story than this but it was several months later when I began dating Daddy. Because of ethics and all I was not going to get nailed for "Daddy chasing". You can imagine what a huge taboo that was?! I wasn't hated until a month or so after that when TW found out what 'the girlfriend's' name was. Now I'm pond scum. Whatever. The information that I had on her by that time didn't make me want to hang with her anyway!
I do know how to be friendly with others. Look at me and Sparkles! If that don't beat all, right?! TW decided early on that she was going to be a bitch toward me and that's just the way it was. I can see resenting that someone else spends more time with your kids, but then go ahead and spend that time yourself!! You could have been doing that all along!
I do wish that she could be more of a human being. It's just not possible, I swear! Whatever she does she must poison her children so that they have "0" (that a zero!) respect for me and will try to buck the system around here wherever possible. I swear that I'm going to give her 90% credit for all of the hating that Mystery has bestowed on me! For the first couple of years here she still stayed in the background and had little to do with her kids. When Daisy was born and Mystery wanted more attention, she somehow seemed to either forgive TW for the years of abandonment or decided that it was payback time and she was going to guilt TW into it.
I just can't picture TW dropping her hateful stance toward me. If she were to ever do so I can picture her trying to communicate with me before she might try to with Daddy because he really isn't into giving her any more chances for much of anything. That would be a very long road, though one that I just can't imagine travelling.
So... would you, could you imagine getting along with your spouse's former spouse?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Curses!!
It's all Sparkle's fault! We went to visit her and Lolli and she had 
a big Bar.bie swimming pool in her kitchen! It's about 18 years old (or more?) with the waterfall, waterslide, and deck! All of the dolls and accessories that Sweetie and Glory had when they were little have been passed down! When Ceecee was old enough for them Glory and I had passed hers along to her sis and Sparkles keeps EVERYTHING!! For all I know it was Sparkles from when she was little, and saved for her 'someday kids'! VERY possible!
Now all Daisy wants is Bar.bie! Sparkles gave her when we were there, but Daisy doesn't know that it came from her. We didn't want Lolli thinking that she had to guard her stuff so that Daisy doesn't take off with it all, and we didn't want Daisy thinking that she can have Lolli's stuff. It really is being passed along from sister, to sister, to sister though! Geez, I never thought I'd see some of that stuff again when we handed it over!
So now we need some friends for Bar.bie. I went on e.bay and found some ethnic dolls and have won three auctions so far, spending roughly $25 total. We'll be getting 4 that are nude ethnic dolls and then there's a 'lot' with over a dozen mix and match dolls. I'll bring out a few and then when she breaks, loses or chews the fingers off one of them I'll toss it and another will magically appear!
I had kind of hoped that we wouldn't be going through this stage with Daisy, because I've altered my opinion of these particular dolls along these many years. You know what though? I wasn't trying to have her bigtime into princess stuff either and she has been fully engrossed for about a year! Oh well... I'm not giving up, I'm just saying... I know that you think it's really funny, but curses on you Sparkles!
Today's question: Have you had anything like this 'come back' to you? What was it and did you want it the second (third?) time around?
a big Bar.bie swimming pool in her kitchen! It's about 18 years old (or more?) with the waterfall, waterslide, and deck! All of the dolls and accessories that Sweetie and Glory had when they were little have been passed down! When Ceecee was old enough for them Glory and I had passed hers along to her sis and Sparkles keeps EVERYTHING!! For all I know it was Sparkles from when she was little, and saved for her 'someday kids'! VERY possible!Now all Daisy wants is Bar.bie! Sparkles gave her when we were there, but Daisy doesn't know that it came from her. We didn't want Lolli thinking that she had to guard her stuff so that Daisy doesn't take off with it all, and we didn't want Daisy thinking that she can have Lolli's stuff. It really is being passed along from sister, to sister, to sister though! Geez, I never thought I'd see some of that stuff again when we handed it over!
So now we need some friends for Bar.bie. I went on e.bay and found some ethnic dolls and have won three auctions so far, spending roughly $25 total. We'll be getting 4 that are nude ethnic dolls and then there's a 'lot' with over a dozen mix and match dolls. I'll bring out a few and then when she breaks, loses or chews the fingers off one of them I'll toss it and another will magically appear!
I had kind of hoped that we wouldn't be going through this stage with Daisy, because I've altered my opinion of these particular dolls along these many years. You know what though? I wasn't trying to have her bigtime into princess stuff either and she has been fully engrossed for about a year! Oh well... I'm not giving up, I'm just saying... I know that you think it's really funny, but curses on you Sparkles!
Today's question: Have you had anything like this 'come back' to you? What was it and did you want it the second (third?) time around?
Friday, July 18, 2008
Do you say I love you?
When Daddy and I 'merged' here we weren't married yet. I came with Charming and Glory, both in high school and Daddy came with Mystery and Jabber in elementary school. All together under one happy little roof.
I remember Jabber asking me if he should/could call me Mom and I told him that I knew that he has a mother and that he didn't have to call me that. Part of me wishes I'd given him more of a chance to then, but I also knew that Mystery was all ready to tell him that they HAVE a mother and not only was I not it, but that she wouldn't be happy.
I
knew that I did it on purpose, but it didn't hit me until maybe two years later that I should have tried to figure something out about saying "I love you" to my kids. Any of them, all of them. I know that I purposely didn't keep saying it to my own kids because I didn't want the other two to feel pressure to respond in kind or to feel left out. Glory hit me with it one day when she was having a meltdown, and told me that I used to say it ALL the time and she really missed that. That it had made her feel a little replaced by Daddy and maybe also the other kids, since they also got my attention.
I felt so horrible when she said that, you can only imagine. I sure didn't mean to lessen my own kids, and I could see what she was saying though. That's one of few things in life that I'd like a real do-over, kwim? I'm not entirely sure how I would have navigated, but I wish I had been more aware and made a different effort.
We're back to saying it now. ALL the time when on the phone with Glory and Charming. All the time with Daisy and Jabber, and Mystery just isn't here or in the room or in a sentence long enough - so I'll admit that she doesn't hear it from me. I'm still working on that one in my head, and trying not to give up bit it feels like I have and have to. I keep holding out that there's still a chance with Jabber, so I'm not giving up and I know that when he comes home from TWrecks lately he does feel loved here, that we want him here. I'm going to post another ADHD type post soon and it won't sound completely like that but it's just that everything isn't cut and dry.
So, do you say it to your step-kids? Do you say it to your bios?
I remember Jabber asking me if he should/could call me Mom and I told him that I knew that he has a mother and that he didn't have to call me that. Part of me wishes I'd given him more of a chance to then, but I also knew that Mystery was all ready to tell him that they HAVE a mother and not only was I not it, but that she wouldn't be happy.
I
knew that I did it on purpose, but it didn't hit me until maybe two years later that I should have tried to figure something out about saying "I love you" to my kids. Any of them, all of them. I know that I purposely didn't keep saying it to my own kids because I didn't want the other two to feel pressure to respond in kind or to feel left out. Glory hit me with it one day when she was having a meltdown, and told me that I used to say it ALL the time and she really missed that. That it had made her feel a little replaced by Daddy and maybe also the other kids, since they also got my attention.I felt so horrible when she said that, you can only imagine. I sure didn't mean to lessen my own kids, and I could see what she was saying though. That's one of few things in life that I'd like a real do-over, kwim? I'm not entirely sure how I would have navigated, but I wish I had been more aware and made a different effort.
We're back to saying it now. ALL the time when on the phone with Glory and Charming. All the time with Daisy and Jabber, and Mystery just isn't here or in the room or in a sentence long enough - so I'll admit that she doesn't hear it from me. I'm still working on that one in my head, and trying not to give up bit it feels like I have and have to. I keep holding out that there's still a chance with Jabber, so I'm not giving up and I know that when he comes home from TWrecks lately he does feel loved here, that we want him here. I'm going to post another ADHD type post soon and it won't sound completely like that but it's just that everything isn't cut and dry.
So, do you say it to your step-kids? Do you say it to your bios?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Don't you just love some modern advances?!
They've come out with this cool new 'flotation swimwear' since I helped teach my older kids to swim, and
it's one that I didn't think that I'd end up trying. I thought that if I got this flotation suit then I'd be copping out, taking the easy way and not putting in the right amount of effort. That Daisy will never actually learn to swim because she'll rely on the aides too much. That last one remains to be seen but I can tell you that in the two days since I bought her new suit she has been in three different pools already, never wants to get out! She loves to kick her little heart out and races across the pool to get a ball, noodle or whatever! She's already making a lot more effort and the best thing is that she's not going under for the most part! Every now and then she gets a mouthful of water, but usually has to make an effort to do that!
it's one that I didn't think that I'd end up trying. I thought that if I got this flotation suit then I'd be copping out, taking the easy way and not putting in the right amount of effort. That Daisy will never actually learn to swim because she'll rely on the aides too much. That last one remains to be seen but I can tell you that in the two days since I bought her new suit she has been in three different pools already, never wants to get out! She loves to kick her little heart out and races across the pool to get a ball, noodle or whatever! She's already making a lot more effort and the best thing is that she's not going under for the most part! Every now and then she gets a mouthful of water, but usually has to make an effort to do that!
It's a one piece bathing suit that looks like so many others. There are three sections that get blown up and go in the front and back panel of the suit and as th
ey get to be better swimmers you only blow up two or one. It zips on the sides and then there are some matching flower arm bands that are pretty cool too. Believe it or not there are two blow-up valves and one blows the whole thing up and you can roll them up the arm to get them on! The other only blows one 'panel' inside the arm band and allows for greater mobility. I'm not even sure if this photo shows the difference very well, but the one with the suit has the band blown 'all the way' and this photo you can see that it's not blown up under her arm. It still has enough air to keep her up, but not so much that she can't move her arms!
One of the miracles of the modern world! Tell me, have you used one of these? Would you? If you wouldn't then why not?
ey get to be better swimmers you only blow up two or one. It zips on the sides and then there are some matching flower arm bands that are pretty cool too. Believe it or not there are two blow-up valves and one blows the whole thing up and you can roll them up the arm to get them on! The other only blows one 'panel' inside the arm band and allows for greater mobility. I'm not even sure if this photo shows the difference very well, but the one with the suit has the band blown 'all the way' and this photo you can see that it's not blown up under her arm. It still has enough air to keep her up, but not so much that she can't move her arms!One of the miracles of the modern world! Tell me, have you used one of these? Would you? If you wouldn't then why not?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Some things just don't occur to me
Daddy and Daisy, MIL and I went to his graduation last night. He's been in career training for 5 years and although he qualified and tested for his license last year (and got it, so also the $$ that comes with the title and paperwork). He had to complete the 5th year of schooling and has finally done just that. Yayyy!!! So we went to the graduation at a fancy hotel banquet room and is it just me or would anyone else have brought their kid(s) with them?
Ok, first of all there was a $35 a plate cost for all but the graduate, but you don't think for a minute that we paid for 3 yr old "Graze-y Daisy" to eat, right?! Who in their right mind would and this wasn't even an issue. She nibbled stuff from both of our plates and all was well. If Jabber hadn't been at football camp we would have considered getting him back from TWrecks and bringing him because he had been interested in going too. Heck, his Daddy achieved something and he wanted to be there for the celebration.
There were NO kids aside from Daisy! I know that I don't go hardly anywhere without her. I stems from when she was hospitalized as an infant for a months time with three different admissions, then nobody else wanted to be left with her in case she stopped breathing including Daddy. But I realize too that having been a single parent for so many years I am used to having my kiddos with me most of the time. LOL, where else would they be?
Is it just me or would you have brought your kiddo too?
Ok, first of all there was a $35 a plate cost for all but the graduate, but you don't think for a minute that we paid for 3 yr old "Graze-y Daisy" to eat, right?! Who in their right mind would and this wasn't even an issue. She nibbled stuff from both of our plates and all was well. If Jabber hadn't been at football camp we would have considered getting him back from TWrecks and bringing him because he had been interested in going too. Heck, his Daddy achieved something and he wanted to be there for the celebration.
There were NO kids aside from Daisy! I know that I don't go hardly anywhere without her. I stems from when she was hospitalized as an infant for a months time with three different admissions, then nobody else wanted to be left with her in case she stopped breathing including Daddy. But I realize too that having been a single parent for so many years I am used to having my kiddos with me most of the time. LOL, where else would they be?
Is it just me or would you have brought your kiddo too?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Not a do-over day
There are some parts that I would, but some that I definitely wouldn't! Starting with this morning. Good one. Daisy and I got up early and headed to the park. We brought stale rolls and fed them to the ducks and she was thoroughly enjoying herself until one of the greedy geese came up and nipped her in his effort to get the bread that she wasn't throwing fast enough! Overall trip to see the ducks was cool! We left early from the musical guy show for the little ones. Daisy was tired after only 20 minutes and that has to be the mono. Just a bit fussy still, but the steroids that she's been taking to take the swelling down and breath easier are working.
When we got home Jabber wasn't home. Last day of school, half day. Worry. Call Daddy, no info from him. About 20 minutes later I called the school to see what time the buses left, and they should have been home. There was one bus that had kids in trouble that went to the bus station. Call the bus station and they don't have names but we eventually figure out that they are from a bus on the other side of town. Whew!! About 5 minutes later I get a phone call from Jabber on his friend's cell phone saying that they decided to walk home. THIS is how he wants to start the summer vacation? Making choices that he shouldn't be making on his own and doing it at a point where there is no way that we could have affected this before he did it.
Then when we're getting ready to leave to bring Jabber to his Doctor's appointment for a meds check and I heard Mystery holler something out in front of the neighbor's house. I look out and their dog (a skittish husky with blue/white eyes) is running away from them and back to the neighbor. Mystery is holding MIL's puppy in her arms and it's pretty easy to see that she picked him up to get him away from the dog. She came inside and said hello, then went downstairs. She came up a minute later and in a pretty scared voice asked what she should do about a dog bite!
So we all went to the doctors after a quick cleaning with peroxide. She has had her tetanus shot so doesn't have to worry about that but does have to take something like antibiotics (she gets a rash with amoxicillin so can't take that). Add to the mele that at the pharmacy had to get some preapproval thing for Jabber's meds so he can't get them until Monday. TWrecks decided to be a PITA when Mystery called and told her that they wouldn't be ready on time and it just was not a fun way to end the day! You'd think she might be concerned about her child's injury and asking about the treatment right? Nope! "Why can't you go home and get your stuff first and then go back to the pharmacy?"
Life here does not revolve around her, surprise surprise! We have things that we need to do and we adapted. Adapt stupid!
Writing this feels like an abbreviated version of my day. It is, and I have plenty more thoughts but since it's been a busy week I may have to catch up on some of this. Daddy is going fishing on Sunday and that may be my big chance!
When we got home Jabber wasn't home. Last day of school, half day. Worry. Call Daddy, no info from him. About 20 minutes later I called the school to see what time the buses left, and they should have been home. There was one bus that had kids in trouble that went to the bus station. Call the bus station and they don't have names but we eventually figure out that they are from a bus on the other side of town. Whew!! About 5 minutes later I get a phone call from Jabber on his friend's cell phone saying that they decided to walk home. THIS is how he wants to start the summer vacation? Making choices that he shouldn't be making on his own and doing it at a point where there is no way that we could have affected this before he did it.
Then when we're getting ready to leave to bring Jabber to his Doctor's appointment for a meds check and I heard Mystery holler something out in front of the neighbor's house. I look out and their dog (a skittish husky with blue/white eyes) is running away from them and back to the neighbor. Mystery is holding MIL's puppy in her arms and it's pretty easy to see that she picked him up to get him away from the dog. She came inside and said hello, then went downstairs. She came up a minute later and in a pretty scared voice asked what she should do about a dog bite!
So we all went to the doctors after a quick cleaning with peroxide. She has had her tetanus shot so doesn't have to worry about that but does have to take something like antibiotics (she gets a rash with amoxicillin so can't take that). Add to the mele that at the pharmacy had to get some preapproval thing for Jabber's meds so he can't get them until Monday. TWrecks decided to be a PITA when Mystery called and told her that they wouldn't be ready on time and it just was not a fun way to end the day! You'd think she might be concerned about her child's injury and asking about the treatment right? Nope! "Why can't you go home and get your stuff first and then go back to the pharmacy?"
Life here does not revolve around her, surprise surprise! We have things that we need to do and we adapted. Adapt stupid!
Writing this feels like an abbreviated version of my day. It is, and I have plenty more thoughts but since it's been a busy week I may have to catch up on some of this. Daddy is going fishing on Sunday and that may be my big chance!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
It's Father's Day!
Daisy is old enough to be really excited this year! She made a hanging star at the library this week, but showed it to him the other day and said that it is HERS! I managed to talk her into sharing it with him for Father's Day and this morning she told him it IS for him!You have to giggle at the thought of her standing outside the bathroom door this morning. You know that right after someone goes in there is when she needs to go, right?! "Daddy!! I need to go potty! Are you in der'? I got a surprise for you! It's a Happy Father's Day!! C'mon Dad, I gotta' go potty!" Stretch out most of the words that you think would be emphasized there and they probably were!
When he came out do you think she had to go?! She made a beeline for the gift bag! Gosh it was fun to see her so excited! He loved his cards. The one that she drew a happy face on and I helped her write her name (hand-over-hand). He guessed his gift before he unwrapped, but that's ok too! He wanted an ODB II Auto Scanner and now we're set with that. Dad and his toys!!
He's gone fishing with his buddies. Jabber called here right at 8am and I told him to give the cellphone a call. (Especially when he said that they were getting dropped off here in about 45 minutes!) Now it looks like Daddy will pick them up on his way home, so there's a bit more peace and quiet here for awhile.
Jabber got him a gift, card, giftbag and used his allowance money to do it. It's the Bl@ck & Dec.ker @uto Wre.nch. He's very happy with his selection and I'm sure he's looking forward to having this tool (an adjustable wrench) around so that he can use it for tinkering too!
He really does have his heart in the right place and Daddy is going to be happy with this gift.We'll see how things go with Mystery. She told me that she intended to make him a custom card and then her 'gift' will be offering to clean his car. I think she said inside and out. His car is a funky WRECK! It needs dusting, vaccuming and some serious liquid cleaner on all surfaces that get touched! Cross your fingers for me that she can pull this off without complaining and then not actually doing it!
Ok, here's the part that I wasn't sure if I would add to this post. I have to remember that it's Father's Day for my father too. I don't have the energy on a day like today to tell why but I just can't communicate with him and this day is about the same as any other. There's more pressure on me to do so, and it opens up so much negativity so I'm doing the same as last year and just avoiding it altogether. Yes, I've thought about if I'll be able to live with this if he were to not be around in the future and I am. Given the choices, I have to so that I can preserve my sanity. I love him, but I have limits.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Geez, who would have thought?
I took Daisy to the pedi yesterday because of the way that she's been waking during the night. Snoring more and it sounds like she isn't getting air easily. Her whole body is involved in getting air as she sleeps. Her eyes are puffy, she sounds pretty "nasal-y" and has been more whiny lately than usual. (She not usually a whiner hardly at all and I wasn't sure if she was learning from Mystery.)
So the pedi checked her out. We had an xray done and then lab work. Two needle sicks for blood samples, one in each arm. She cried but didn't scream and was upset and sad, and very glad when it was over. I didn't go in with her because I knew that she might get more anxious about why I wasn't stopping them from hurting her. They had 2 gals to hold her and one that drew. I do feel bad about not being there to 'save her' but seriously knew that I was better off letting them do this at this point. If I had gone in they wouldn't have had anyone help me hold her (happened the last time) and it would have been worse.
Anyway, the pedi left a message on my answering machine. She has mono! I have ZERO exposure to any firsthand knowledge of mono. I think that my older brother had it once in the 70's... that's not a lot to go on.
Daddy and I are both thinking that it wouldn't be surprising if both of us have it too. Who knows where the heck it came from?! Whatever! We've both been worn down and I thought mine was my sinuses, but it might make more sense about feeling weird about my cycles too. (Aches and pains) Yes, I still have the sinus' jaw ache but finally an ENT appt for mid July. If I'm in too much more pain before then I'll have to hit the primary again.
Oh, and one more thing. Sparkles' little girl Lolli is having adenoid surgery in a week and a half. We were at the Backyardigans show with the girls sharing drinks. Ugh! Hopefully this won't be a problem for Lolli and she won't catch it, but I imagine that they'll have to get a blood test before the surgery to see if it will prevent it. SIL's 7 yo girlie was sharing drinks with Daisy too... geez!!!
So the pedi checked her out. We had an xray done and then lab work. Two needle sicks for blood samples, one in each arm. She cried but didn't scream and was upset and sad, and very glad when it was over. I didn't go in with her because I knew that she might get more anxious about why I wasn't stopping them from hurting her. They had 2 gals to hold her and one that drew. I do feel bad about not being there to 'save her' but seriously knew that I was better off letting them do this at this point. If I had gone in they wouldn't have had anyone help me hold her (happened the last time) and it would have been worse.
Anyway, the pedi left a message on my answering machine. She has mono! I have ZERO exposure to any firsthand knowledge of mono. I think that my older brother had it once in the 70's... that's not a lot to go on.
Daddy and I are both thinking that it wouldn't be surprising if both of us have it too. Who knows where the heck it came from?! Whatever! We've both been worn down and I thought mine was my sinuses, but it might make more sense about feeling weird about my cycles too. (Aches and pains) Yes, I still have the sinus' jaw ache but finally an ENT appt for mid July. If I'm in too much more pain before then I'll have to hit the primary again.
Oh, and one more thing. Sparkles' little girl Lolli is having adenoid surgery in a week and a half. We were at the Backyardigans show with the girls sharing drinks. Ugh! Hopefully this won't be a problem for Lolli and she won't catch it, but I imagine that they'll have to get a blood test before the surgery to see if it will prevent it. SIL's 7 yo girlie was sharing drinks with Daisy too... geez!!!
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