It's Wednesday morning. Very early Wednesday morning. We're surviving here. It's not much of a life but part of me is just counting down until at least Mystery is out of our house and we can hopefully do more than just sit around this house. Can't go anywhere because Daddy thinks we'd have to take them with us and taking them with us makes me not want to go anywhere.
I have something else that's ugly. My sister that lives out of state is planning a family event for my entire birth family. No chance in the world that I'm going because one particular sister-in-law is going and that would just kill the whole thing for me. I won't go and walk around her. It would be in poor taste to go and confront her. If I ever did confront her not only do I expect that she would be unwilling to listen to me, but that I'd somehow get labeled the antagonist and then my siblings would wonder why I can't just shut up and let it lie. Well she threatened another family member, and I don't think that entitles you to come and act like nothing took place. If she ever threatens that person again I have promised that I would go with them to court to get a restraining order. Of course it's a longer, drawn out story, but part of me can't wait until mid October is past us so that we don't have to keep dodging my sister about this.
Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I really have tried to relax
I haven't come in here in HOW long? Part of me started thinking that I was stressing myself out more by coming in here and writing because instead of purging I was stewing. Well, the new school year is starting and it seems that we need to get the ball rolling.
Mystery - who has been gone all summer to TW's house came back the other day. Overall she has had a teensy bit more manners and 'cleared' a couple things with me. Granted she already cleared them with Daddy, so as far as I'm concerned it's just notification. Whatever. I have to say that I'm not happy about telling Daisy to go and tell Mystery to let the big dog outdoors. Mystery is downstairs and that's where we put him out. We have been dog-sitting and the little booger dog bugs the snot out of our dog, and for some reason Mystery told Daisy to put the little one out upstairs instead of putting the big one out.
I don't remember asking Mystery if the big one needs to go out. Is there a reason for her to question me? Put the effin' dog out! She wants to tell Daisy what to do, but my guess is that if it was me going down there then she wouldn't have told me that. She has a friend over and I'm not going to go and chastise her in front of her friend. I'm not sure why not, because I sure as hell would have done that in front of Glory's friends back in the day. I got up and went downstairs and put the damn dog out.
I got home from running to the store and Mystery pulls up in a small car. She's 17 so this isn't out of line, but where TF did she go, and who did she get in touch with? Surely Daddy. Sure wasn't me. She tells me that Jabber told her to tell me that he went to his friend's house. He called Daddy.
Oh joy.
I never raised kids like this and it's going to drive me nuckin futs.
On the plus side. Glory had a baby and she's healthy as can be. I'll bring her up more later when I decide on a name for her.
Mystery - who has been gone all summer to TW's house came back the other day. Overall she has had a teensy bit more manners and 'cleared' a couple things with me. Granted she already cleared them with Daddy, so as far as I'm concerned it's just notification. Whatever. I have to say that I'm not happy about telling Daisy to go and tell Mystery to let the big dog outdoors. Mystery is downstairs and that's where we put him out. We have been dog-sitting and the little booger dog bugs the snot out of our dog, and for some reason Mystery told Daisy to put the little one out upstairs instead of putting the big one out.
I don't remember asking Mystery if the big one needs to go out. Is there a reason for her to question me? Put the effin' dog out! She wants to tell Daisy what to do, but my guess is that if it was me going down there then she wouldn't have told me that. She has a friend over and I'm not going to go and chastise her in front of her friend. I'm not sure why not, because I sure as hell would have done that in front of Glory's friends back in the day. I got up and went downstairs and put the damn dog out.
I got home from running to the store and Mystery pulls up in a small car. She's 17 so this isn't out of line, but where TF did she go, and who did she get in touch with? Surely Daddy. Sure wasn't me. She tells me that Jabber told her to tell me that he went to his friend's house. He called Daddy.
Oh joy.
I never raised kids like this and it's going to drive me nuckin futs.
On the plus side. Glory had a baby and she's healthy as can be. I'll bring her up more later when I decide on a name for her.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Discovery: The dog and I have evolved.
This one has been coming to me in pieces. First, Glory and her hubby were here for the holidays and OH was our dog happy!!! He's missed the two older kids since they've moved away and that's to be expected, but it breaks my heart for him how things have evolved in the meantime.
We got him as a little pup from the SPCA. Charming was SO excited that we had our first dog that he instantly claimed responsibility for Barkley. He was the one that went to obedience training with us, took Barkley on walks/runs, let Barkley sleep IN his bed with him, made sure he was fed, let in and out and LOVED! Glory did pretty good with attention when Charming was on EOW visits with XI, (She stayed home to work mostly, that and her social life!) but we all knew that Barkley was Charming's dog even though he has always been our family dog! Charming moved out after 2 years and Glory handled the loving and a lot of the maintenance care for Barkley, just not the walks/runs. She moved out in two more years. It is now 2+ years since, and coming up on three. Everything changes with time.
Barkley was in heaven when everyone was here for the holidays! He didn't actually seem to irritate anyone during that time too, imagine that?!
I started thinking about the differences. Charming & Glory (Then) vs Mystery & Jabber (Now), and how Barkley is interacted with by each 'team'. Then Barkley had attention that included speaking to him kindly, petting him, caring for him and interacting with him of their own free will. Now Barkley gets let into the house without a word after Daddy or I holler to the kids that are downstairs on the same level that Barkley is (and that much closer to hear him barking outdoors?) to let him inside the house. Now when one of them speaks to him it is usually in very negative tones and only for the purpose of demanding something, directing something, or because it was absolutely necessary to interact with him for one reason or another.
We got him as a little pup from the SPCA. Charming was SO excited that we had our first dog that he instantly claimed responsibility for Barkley. He was the one that went to obedience training with us, took Barkley on walks/runs, let Barkley sleep IN his bed with him, made sure he was fed, let in and out and LOVED! Glory did pretty good with attention when Charming was on EOW visits with XI, (She stayed home to work mostly, that and her social life!) but we all knew that Barkley was Charming's dog even though he has always been our family dog! Charming moved out after 2 years and Glory handled the loving and a lot of the maintenance care for Barkley, just not the walks/runs. She moved out in two more years. It is now 2+ years since, and coming up on three. Everything changes with time.
Barkley was in heaven when everyone was here for the holidays! He didn't actually seem to irritate anyone during that time too, imagine that?!
I started thinking about the differences. Charming & Glory (Then) vs Mystery & Jabber (Now), and how Barkley is interacted with by each 'team'. Then Barkley had attention that included speaking to him kindly, petting him, caring for him and interacting with him of their own free will. Now Barkley gets let into the house without a word after Daddy or I holler to the kids that are downstairs on the same level that Barkley is (and that much closer to hear him barking outdoors?) to let him inside the house. Now when one of them speaks to him it is usually in very negative tones and only for the purpose of demanding something, directing something, or because it was absolutely necessary to interact with him for one reason or another.
If you don't need him, then why would you consider him? He's nothing but a pain in the butt that you have to bother yourself to get up and let him in when you could have been relaxing. Bother yourself to reach into the bag of food and get 3 cups of his food out and into his bowl, and then geezo-peezo he needs water too! Ugh! Oh, and the bowl apparently cleans itself because we don't know how to do it. There's a boot tray under the bowls to catch 'debris' and that gets moved when we are compelled to sweep and mop the floor weekly, but cleaning out the tray is something that we need to be directed to do every couple of weeks or so. So, maintenance is mandatory, but only when told to by the adults. Why would you do it otherwise?
Barkley doesn't come to YOU when he wants something because he knows (yes, has evolved and learned) that you will ignore him 98% of the time unless you are told by an adult to do the same thing that Barkley wanted you to do in the first place. Barkley isn't dumb! He'll come upstairs and drop his signals so that we will call to them (downstairs and closer) to do it! Sometimes Mystery forgets and thinks she's an adult. Yes, perfectly normal, but she gets reminded some of the time that she's not. Usually in the form of Daddy shouting HER name for maintenance for at least a week!
"Then" he was loved, got attention including addressed warmly and was physically healthy (plenty of exercise). "Now" he's ignored or groaned at, spoken to harshly and given one or two word directions, and getting very heavy and unhealthy because he gets so little exercise. One thing that I will say that I feel bad about is not walking him, but he wasn't trained well by Charming. Charming trained him to respond to him and Barkley doesn't even begin to go for walks the same with anyone else. He's horrible! Pulls and pulls, darts around and pulls, doesn't come to you when you let him have some slack and you need to call him back. And he's big! I'm sure he's at least my weight, and he has four legs on the ground to stand his ground against me! If he wants to go smell that hydrant then by gosh he's going to! That alone severely limits the efforts to take him for walks and he has to get his exercise running around our back yard.
I will add here that there have been periods when both Mystery and Jabber have allowed him to sleep in their beds with them. Mystery has a queen sized bed and got tired of kicking him off the bed because he'd just sneak back up. Jabber liked having him sleep with him until he found a tic in his bed one day. Please! Don't wash the dog, right?! Just kick him out of bed!
Every now and then Jabber gets ambitious about Barkley. Takes him for a walk while riding his skateboard, plays ball-on-a-rope pulling with him. It might last a couple hours one day it might last for a week that he keeps it up. Barkley is happy for a week.
I feel bad for our dog. If Charming had a place where he could have a dog we would let him have Barkley ONLY because Barkley would be so gosh darn happy and healthy too is my guess! It almost happened about 2 years ago and then fell through. We'd never get rid of him though and that's not what we were trying to do. I just wish 
that the people in our family would try to be nicer to him and treat him with kindness. Talk to him kindly, pet him, smile at him and let him know that he's loved and appreciated.
that the people in our family would try to be nicer to him and treat him with kindness. Talk to him kindly, pet him, smile at him and let him know that he's loved and appreciated.And then it hit me. They consider Barkley and I on the same level. Think about it.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Some things are just designed to make you crazy, right?
I keep saying that I'm going to post here and then things take me away and I loose my mind trying to wrap myself around whatever's current. I can't type when they're here because of over-the-shoulder syndrome and then when the house is calm and mostly empty I'm just so glad NOT to think about it! Kwim?!!
Ok, I've got one that I think I can wrap up without going on and on! I'm going to tell you what I think at the end and you tell me if you think I'm right, ok?!
Recently I had a family event on my side of the family. My father had one of those big milestone birthdays. The kind that you have to make sure to do something for him because you think ahead and wonder if he'll be here for the next decade to have another big milestone occasion. I don't communicate with my father very often by choice because I hate feeling powerless and that's a whole 'nuther story, but we'll just say that all the siblings made a plan and we all gathered for a surprise event for him.
Daddy wanted to be able to go with me and Daisy for the events, but Jabber has sports games on the weekends when he is at TW's house and Daddy always provides the transportation. He told Jabber to ask TW if she could bring him to his games (2 that day and one the next) for that day only, so that he can attend my family events that day without having to just meet up after the games were over. Daddy almost never asks anything of TW, never mind ask for something for himself, maybe once every other year he's done it.
You know her answer, right? No.
Insert expletives here calling TW every name in the book that means selfish bitch. Never mind the fact that her son is playing in the games (and is a "star" player in both of his sports BTW!) and she can't consider going to watch the game(s) to support him. She doesn't enjoy sports, therefore doesn't participate other than the odd drop-off ride once or twice in a season. She drives him there, lets him off and leaves. Anyway... the extra shitiest part of this one is that Daddy picked Jabber up from her house and brought him to the game. He decided that he'd have to skip the afternoon game that week because it was just going to be impossible for him to attend with us at all if he didn't.
Guess who showed her ugly @$$ up at the end of the game to pick Jabber up?
She couldn't call anyone and say that she was doing this? She couldn't even tell Jabber, so he could share the information? No.
I truly believe that this is her way of telling MY husband that she still has control of him and can make him do things at her beck and call. That she is more important than I am and that whatever happens SHE is the one calling the shots.
Of course he lets her, but (expletives again)!!!!! I can't wait until those two are old enough to be out of my house and never to consider having contact with her again! What do you think? Spot on or some other explanation?
Ok, I've got one that I think I can wrap up without going on and on! I'm going to tell you what I think at the end and you tell me if you think I'm right, ok?!
Recently I had a family event on my side of the family. My father had one of those big milestone birthdays. The kind that you have to make sure to do something for him because you think ahead and wonder if he'll be here for the next decade to have another big milestone occasion. I don't communicate with my father very often by choice because I hate feeling powerless and that's a whole 'nuther story, but we'll just say that all the siblings made a plan and we all gathered for a surprise event for him.
Daddy wanted to be able to go with me and Daisy for the events, but Jabber has sports games on the weekends when he is at TW's house and Daddy always provides the transportation. He told Jabber to ask TW if she could bring him to his games (2 that day and one the next) for that day only, so that he can attend my family events that day without having to just meet up after the games were over. Daddy almost never asks anything of TW, never mind ask for something for himself, maybe once every other year he's done it.
You know her answer, right? No.
Insert expletives here calling TW every name in the book that means selfish bitch. Never mind the fact that her son is playing in the games (and is a "star" player in both of his sports BTW!) and she can't consider going to watch the game(s) to support him. She doesn't enjoy sports, therefore doesn't participate other than the odd drop-off ride once or twice in a season. She drives him there, lets him off and leaves. Anyway... the extra shitiest part of this one is that Daddy picked Jabber up from her house and brought him to the game. He decided that he'd have to skip the afternoon game that week because it was just going to be impossible for him to attend with us at all if he didn't.
Guess who showed her ugly @$$ up at the end of the game to pick Jabber up?
She couldn't call anyone and say that she was doing this? She couldn't even tell Jabber, so he could share the information? No.
I truly believe that this is her way of telling MY husband that she still has control of him and can make him do things at her beck and call. That she is more important than I am and that whatever happens SHE is the one calling the shots.
Of course he lets her, but (expletives again)!!!!! I can't wait until those two are old enough to be out of my house and never to consider having contact with her again! What do you think? Spot on or some other explanation?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The quick version
I'm going to go back as soon as I can and reply to the comments on the last post but just want to say that Pixie didn't end up staying here and whatever she had going on logistically is resolved and she isn't staying with us.
I'm now stuck with the kid's computer which is as slow as can be and I can't really go nd read other blogs using this one because everything loads slow because of the system. It feels like back in the day of being on dial-up! Between that and my working overnight shifts and having my sleep screwed I just haven't been able to get my tail in here. Daddy says that our tax refund will be here before we know it and I just have to hold out until then, but if Jabber is getting a $200 video gaming system for Christmas then you better believe that I'm thinking there'd better be a new computer for me under that tree! Mystery's list is looking a little light so far this year, for her. I think that she's hoping for a cash amount that blows her away and Daddy and I have already discussed getting her a bank Visa card and having her get some experience managing that. You know, a card that is purchased and only worth up to the value paid for it? We'll see.
Anyway, I'll try to post again soon but the biggest itch that I have is to go and read the rest of your blogs! I miss knowing what's up with everyone and will probably send a bunch of comments out one day soon if I go to my friend's house and watch her kiddo for her so that I can use her computer!
I'm now stuck with the kid's computer which is as slow as can be and I can't really go nd read other blogs using this one because everything loads slow because of the system. It feels like back in the day of being on dial-up! Between that and my working overnight shifts and having my sleep screwed I just haven't been able to get my tail in here. Daddy says that our tax refund will be here before we know it and I just have to hold out until then, but if Jabber is getting a $200 video gaming system for Christmas then you better believe that I'm thinking there'd better be a new computer for me under that tree! Mystery's list is looking a little light so far this year, for her. I think that she's hoping for a cash amount that blows her away and Daddy and I have already discussed getting her a bank Visa card and having her get some experience managing that. You know, a card that is purchased and only worth up to the value paid for it? We'll see.
Anyway, I'll try to post again soon but the biggest itch that I have is to go and read the rest of your blogs! I miss knowing what's up with everyone and will probably send a bunch of comments out one day soon if I go to my friend's house and watch her kiddo for her so that I can use her computer!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Give me strength
Please. I am sleep deprived right now because I worked an all-nighter last night and then got home and had about 2 hours of sleep before Daisy woke me up. Work sucked because the gal that is the most senior in my section has decided not to speak to me. Hmmm... I'm trying to think if there's a possible connection to me opening my mouth and agreeing with another gal on my last night shift that the first one pisses and moans too much? That she's supposed to be teaching me but chooses when to listen and respond, repeats her boring-ass whines and then tells me that she didn't say "there" she said "here". Yah, right! She was a pain in my @$$ all night last night. Wanna' bet that when everything wasn't finished at the end of her shift she told them what I didn't finish?
That's not even the reason I need strength. Mystery has a friend that I'm introducing in the left column as a New Player. I may have mentioned her before but she now has an official blog name and we're going to call her Pixie. She's the new friend that Mystery can't live without so far this year. The same one that one of the teachers emailed me to say that she was moving seats around because of their social energy during class. Hey, it's high school and that can happen anywhere. Whatever. We have a tiny connection to this girl because she has a relative that is friends with Glory's hubby! LOL, that doesn't give anybody any extra points one way or the other, but an interesting side part of this. We do know the relative a little.
Well, Pixie and her mother were living with the relative, but have apparently been thrown out. They have a place to live in the next town over. Pixie will have to leave school if they stay there. Mystery asked Daddy if Pixie can come and stay with us during the week because her mother doesn't have a car to drive her back and forth to school. Daddy has apparently been actually considering this for a week or so, and today he forwarded Mystery's text message to my phone. Like he's fucking asking me. He did call and said that he would need to get information about how long this would be for. If it's just a couple/few days during a transition then that is something that he would not have a problem with.
You see, we have a precedence here. When Glory was a senior in high school her BFF's mother went out of own for a honeymoon and we let her stay the week. We've always had a standing rule of No Friend Overnights OnA Schoo Night. Mom came back and BFF wasn't getting comfortable with the new step around and she started sleeping in her car instead of going home. I found this out and told her that she needs to sleep here, which she did readily but she never showered or left clothes and we had to make her eat here now and then. LOL, she brought us food from her job very often and it wasn't like she was a charity case! She also provided Glory with transportation to school, dance and work about 90% of the time, which freed up MY car for me! Yahoo!! Hey, they were together 90% of the time anyway, we just let her sleep here.
So, in comparison. Glory had a BFF that slept here, drove her everywhere and probably freed up the phone lines a bit. Mystery would have her BFF that is 16, with no driver's license or transportation, no job and enough of a similar attitude in life to be Mystery's BFF into our home? Yes, we have been open to a 'sad story' before but we weren't adding another person to be responsible for. If the relative won't have them/her, then what makes Daddy think that we need to add that headache to our list of things to be responsible for?
He just doesn't know how to say no to Mystery sometimes. I told him that I don't think it's a good idea unless it's something like strictly for 2-3 days because the mother has a plan and just needs those days for a check to come in or a car to get registered or something. No plan-no kid, comprende? Heck, Mystery doesn't even have a bedroom of her own right now! Yes, it's almost finished and might be done by tomorrow if things go like they're planned, but there are a few "ifs" in there that having Pixie around for just might be the thing that we don't need.
Any last minute ideas on topics to raise with Daddy? My guess is that Pixie is coming home with Mystery today either way, and hoping to seal the deal. Any and all suggestions are welcome, even if you think we should adopt the kiddo!
That's not even the reason I need strength. Mystery has a friend that I'm introducing in the left column as a New Player. I may have mentioned her before but she now has an official blog name and we're going to call her Pixie. She's the new friend that Mystery can't live without so far this year. The same one that one of the teachers emailed me to say that she was moving seats around because of their social energy during class. Hey, it's high school and that can happen anywhere. Whatever. We have a tiny connection to this girl because she has a relative that is friends with Glory's hubby! LOL, that doesn't give anybody any extra points one way or the other, but an interesting side part of this. We do know the relative a little.
Well, Pixie and her mother were living with the relative, but have apparently been thrown out. They have a place to live in the next town over. Pixie will have to leave school if they stay there. Mystery asked Daddy if Pixie can come and stay with us during the week because her mother doesn't have a car to drive her back and forth to school. Daddy has apparently been actually considering this for a week or so, and today he forwarded Mystery's text message to my phone. Like he's fucking asking me. He did call and said that he would need to get information about how long this would be for. If it's just a couple/few days during a transition then that is something that he would not have a problem with.
You see, we have a precedence here. When Glory was a senior in high school her BFF's mother went out of own for a honeymoon and we let her stay the week. We've always had a standing rule of No Friend Overnights OnA Schoo Night. Mom came back and BFF wasn't getting comfortable with the new step around and she started sleeping in her car instead of going home. I found this out and told her that she needs to sleep here, which she did readily but she never showered or left clothes and we had to make her eat here now and then. LOL, she brought us food from her job very often and it wasn't like she was a charity case! She also provided Glory with transportation to school, dance and work about 90% of the time, which freed up MY car for me! Yahoo!! Hey, they were together 90% of the time anyway, we just let her sleep here.
So, in comparison. Glory had a BFF that slept here, drove her everywhere and probably freed up the phone lines a bit. Mystery would have her BFF that is 16, with no driver's license or transportation, no job and enough of a similar attitude in life to be Mystery's BFF into our home? Yes, we have been open to a 'sad story' before but we weren't adding another person to be responsible for. If the relative won't have them/her, then what makes Daddy think that we need to add that headache to our list of things to be responsible for?
He just doesn't know how to say no to Mystery sometimes. I told him that I don't think it's a good idea unless it's something like strictly for 2-3 days because the mother has a plan and just needs those days for a check to come in or a car to get registered or something. No plan-no kid, comprende? Heck, Mystery doesn't even have a bedroom of her own right now! Yes, it's almost finished and might be done by tomorrow if things go like they're planned, but there are a few "ifs" in there that having Pixie around for just might be the thing that we don't need.
Any last minute ideas on topics to raise with Daddy? My guess is that Pixie is coming home with Mystery today either way, and hoping to seal the deal. Any and all suggestions are welcome, even if you think we should adopt the kiddo!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Internet Social Network and a Blog Meme
I haven't done this for awhile. Check out what it looks like on Mystery's ISN page.
(Clicking on the pic will open it up in a new tab or window!) I haven't been tracking her as much as I have in the past, and some things just don't change! Oh to be a teenager these days, huh?! I would totally be trying to figure out as much as I could with new technology so that I'd be able to do all kinds of sneaky things with it! If my Mom were alive she'd tell you that I was terrible as a teen and always stretched the limits! LOL, the limits have stretched a lot since then!
Blog Meme Alert!!
I got tagged by kwoneshe2 at Storms Never Last and this is my very first time! (Girl, I'm going over to your blog next to leave my comments!!) This was a Sunday Meme, but I'm doing it on Tuesday! So what is it actually called? LOL, I have no clue! If I tagged you then either wait until Sunday or just re-name it like I did!!
Tuesday Meme
1-Were you named after anybody: Yes. One of my Mom's favorite teachers (first name)
2- What’s your favorite lunch meat: turkey ham, Mmmmmm!
3- If you were another person, would you be friends with you: Oh yeah! That sounds like one of those things like getting a wife to do all my chores. LOL, of course!!
4- Do you use sarcasm a lot: I don't think I do. I have people around me using it all the time as a standard way of communicating and it gets really old, really fast. If it wouldn't be funny if i was true/real then it's seriously not funny. I do understand it and I know I hear it in my head often enough, but try not to use it a lot.
5- What is your favorite cereal: Cinnamon Life
6- What is your favorite ice cream: I don't have a clear favorite but a few that I toy with like Black Cherry, Butter Crunch and maybe every now and then Fudge Ripple. I usually think salty, not sweet so you can have the ice cream!
7- Do you think you are strong: I always bounce back, so I must be! You know that saying that you wouldn't be given more than you can handle? I wish I couldn't always handle so much!
8- What is your least favorite thing about yourself: Physically, 'the girls' could be an actual"A" instead of wannabes! I've nursed my babies and have memories of "C", but just want to be able to wear more styles!
9- What was the last thing you ate: A turkey and cheese sandwich with mayonaisse and mustard on seeded soft rye bread.
10- If you were a crayon, what color would you be: Aquamarine. It always comes out so nice and bright on paper!
11- What is your favorite scent: Lily of the Valleys
12- Favorite sports to watch: Any sport my kid is in. If they ever make it to televised then I'd watch that too. Otherwise, No thanks!
13- What is your hair color: I think the box said Medium Brown.
14- Do you prefer scary movies or happy ending movies: Happy Endings! Corny? Sure!! Chick Flicks Rule!!
15- What is your favorite food: Popcorn! Yes, I'll have butter in it, but don't drown it, ok?
16- What is the last movie you watched: Iron Man, on Pay Per View!
17- Do you prefer summer or winter: Summer! I love wearing less clothes!
18- What is your favorite dessert: Pineapple Upside Down Cake, freshly baked!
19- What is your favorite book: "No Flying in the House". A kid's book that I remember my 3rd grade teacher reading to our class! I read it to Glory when she was younger and now waiting for Daisy's turn! I loved the make believe parts and wanted them to be real SO badly! Oh, and the coolest books on the planet are all kid's books! In case you didn't know that!
20- What are your favorite TV shows: Gray's Anatomy, Eli Stone, NCIS, Lipstick Jungle, CSI (all) , and there are more but those start of the list for sure!
And now I have to tag people! I'm not sure if it's 5 or 6 because I was the "and" on her list before, but I'll tag 6! I sure hope that if I tag you that it's not one of those things that bugs you and you get a chance to play along!
Let's tag:
2) Bethany
(And for some that still come by and comment please don't let this scare you off! But you know you want to get back to posting again, right?!)
4) SMILF at Wifezilla Diaries
5) B'sMommy
6) Medea
Have fun everyone and I can't wait to see your replies!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thoughts on Middle School
I'm drafting this before I get any possible replies because I want to start with my own gut reaction, which is not surprised at all! The teachers said at Open House that they (most all anyway) will be giving him homework for Monday through Thursday pretty consistently. I can't tell you how many times I had him bring his agenda to me to make sure that he's keeping up and he hasn't filled in a darn thing. I told him that I want him to use the agenda just like last year, if there is no assignment then N/H should be in there for that class. After that he would come home, stand at the kitchen table leaning over his agenda writing N/H through most of the classes and then handing it to me. He also told me several times that the teachers don't check the agendas and they don't care if they use them or not. I'm starting to believe him.
So I've been the only one that gives a shit that he needs to keep things organized in order to be successful. If he can be that A student, then why shouldn't he be? How did less than the best or mediocre suddenly become so acceptable? His ADHD is a factor with him staying focused and being successful. I understand that the teachers are trying to let them grow into learning responsibility, but how do you go from full accountability to just telling them one at the beginning of the school year? The teachers used to make a 1-2 minute time for the kids to copy the assignment at the beginning of class. They used to check the agendas each week and make sure that the students had the parents sign off that they had 'checked' the daily assignments, or else I'd get an email. If everything was all set the kids got to go into a giftie box with pencils, pens and other little things including plastic squishy balls etc.
I'm not saying that they have to keep giving the kids that sort of incentive, but it sounds like they don't tell the student to write down the ssignment. I know for certain that one teacher never got a homework assignment from him and we found out 3 weeks later when progress reports came out. Too late to do anything about it other than a talking to about not letting it happen again. Too little, too late.
I've emailed every one of his teachers except for whoever he has for "flex" right now. I have no clue who that is because he hasn't shared that information and the school has sent us nothing to let us know. Yes, it's about time for me to email the school and get that information. I love email paper trails! One thing that they are showing already this year is the lack of response, and yes there are actual questions in them instead of just sharing information.
The woman that does the 'booster' class was very nice and showed me a few things about why the program exists and what the expectations are. He would have monthly opportunities to "test out" and back into the "regular" class, and she would get in touch with me after he tested. The contact that I got was the corner of a piece of notebook paper that had a number on it which he brought home from school one day last month. 163. Out of 169 which is the score that he needs to be above. He started out about 60 points under, so he is definitely gaining but what in the heck kind of contact is this?!
Daddy said that when he saw the report card the only thing that he said to Jabber is that two of those B's are minuses and that's very close to being a C. He'd better watch out for that.
I'm really disappointed in both of them. Yes, B's are not the worst grades but when you are capable of doing so much more with very little effort then why would you just say nothing about the difference in the grades? I think that by Daddy not even mentioning that he is capable of higher grades that he's also letting Jabber down. Jabber knows that a great deal is expected of him, or should be. I'm not just talking about him being the only male child to pass down the family name, but that taking shortcuts and being lazy doesn't get you as much as making an actual effort.
Aside from school I've been sayin that Jabber is taking too many shortcuts since early last spring and have been met with rolling eyes, at least it feels like it. His pediatrician seems to think we have an angel child here and that I choose too many battles. I think he needs a meds change, because I know that he has been that angel child when he was going up in meds. Then he got to a plateau and could give a crap about so many things. I've been to the promised land... It was great to be there and have so many things running smoothly! Why can't we keep that?
It's just not fair. Maybe if I never knew that things can be so good it wouldn't suck as much this way. But we have, and you can't take that experience back. Like losing your virg.inity, you can't go back! Isn't it unfair to Jabber? Daddy and I have talked earlier this year about expectations and ater I said that Jabber mightbe our one kid that actually has the grades to go to college Daddy told me that he doesn't see it hapening. He wants Jabber to pick a trade when he gets to High School and dig into that, because he doesn't have it in him to follow through with serious eduational endeavors. Now Jabber is a tinkerer. The kids that all the neighbor kids bring their bikes to if they need something tightened, replaced or worked on. He takes thing apart ALL the time and has gotten a bunch of things back together again. Not all, but we generally don't let him dig in until we hd no other recourse anyway! Things like math ome so easily to him. Science is a breeze. Sentence structure and vocabulary suck, but he's not the first person on the planet that has no interest in those!
I'm waiting for replies and then see how they fit into what I've already drfted here. Thanks for your comments on this one ladies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Monday morning and I'm going to publish this as is. I got some comments and will come back and reply to each of them, but I worked an overnight shift last night and need to take this opporunity to get in a few hours of straight sleep before I blow my window of opportunity and end up with only2 hours of sleep for a three day period because I'm working the same shift again tonight! I really appreciate those of you tht commented on the previous post. did have a conversation with Daddy yesterday about how hitty I feel overll about both kid, but I think Icame out feling worse than when I started. Long story, but I'll tell you soon! G'nite!!
So I've been the only one that gives a shit that he needs to keep things organized in order to be successful. If he can be that A student, then why shouldn't he be? How did less than the best or mediocre suddenly become so acceptable? His ADHD is a factor with him staying focused and being successful. I understand that the teachers are trying to let them grow into learning responsibility, but how do you go from full accountability to just telling them one at the beginning of the school year? The teachers used to make a 1-2 minute time for the kids to copy the assignment at the beginning of class. They used to check the agendas each week and make sure that the students had the parents sign off that they had 'checked' the daily assignments, or else I'd get an email. If everything was all set the kids got to go into a giftie box with pencils, pens and other little things including plastic squishy balls etc.
I'm not saying that they have to keep giving the kids that sort of incentive, but it sounds like they don't tell the student to write down the ssignment. I know for certain that one teacher never got a homework assignment from him and we found out 3 weeks later when progress reports came out. Too late to do anything about it other than a talking to about not letting it happen again. Too little, too late.
I've emailed every one of his teachers except for whoever he has for "flex" right now. I have no clue who that is because he hasn't shared that information and the school has sent us nothing to let us know. Yes, it's about time for me to email the school and get that information. I love email paper trails! One thing that they are showing already this year is the lack of response, and yes there are actual questions in them instead of just sharing information.
The woman that does the 'booster' class was very nice and showed me a few things about why the program exists and what the expectations are. He would have monthly opportunities to "test out" and back into the "regular" class, and she would get in touch with me after he tested. The contact that I got was the corner of a piece of notebook paper that had a number on it which he brought home from school one day last month. 163. Out of 169 which is the score that he needs to be above. He started out about 60 points under, so he is definitely gaining but what in the heck kind of contact is this?!
Daddy said that when he saw the report card the only thing that he said to Jabber is that two of those B's are minuses and that's very close to being a C. He'd better watch out for that.
I'm really disappointed in both of them. Yes, B's are not the worst grades but when you are capable of doing so much more with very little effort then why would you just say nothing about the difference in the grades? I think that by Daddy not even mentioning that he is capable of higher grades that he's also letting Jabber down. Jabber knows that a great deal is expected of him, or should be. I'm not just talking about him being the only male child to pass down the family name, but that taking shortcuts and being lazy doesn't get you as much as making an actual effort.
Aside from school I've been sayin that Jabber is taking too many shortcuts since early last spring and have been met with rolling eyes, at least it feels like it. His pediatrician seems to think we have an angel child here and that I choose too many battles. I think he needs a meds change, because I know that he has been that angel child when he was going up in meds. Then he got to a plateau and could give a crap about so many things. I've been to the promised land... It was great to be there and have so many things running smoothly! Why can't we keep that?
It's just not fair. Maybe if I never knew that things can be so good it wouldn't suck as much this way. But we have, and you can't take that experience back. Like losing your virg.inity, you can't go back! Isn't it unfair to Jabber? Daddy and I have talked earlier this year about expectations and ater I said that Jabber mightbe our one kid that actually has the grades to go to college Daddy told me that he doesn't see it hapening. He wants Jabber to pick a trade when he gets to High School and dig into that, because he doesn't have it in him to follow through with serious eduational endeavors. Now Jabber is a tinkerer. The kids that all the neighbor kids bring their bikes to if they need something tightened, replaced or worked on. He takes thing apart ALL the time and has gotten a bunch of things back together again. Not all, but we generally don't let him dig in until we hd no other recourse anyway! Things like math ome so easily to him. Science is a breeze. Sentence structure and vocabulary suck, but he's not the first person on the planet that has no interest in those!
I'm waiting for replies and then see how they fit into what I've already drfted here. Thanks for your comments on this one ladies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Monday morning and I'm going to publish this as is. I got some comments and will come back and reply to each of them, but I worked an overnight shift last night and need to take this opporunity to get in a few hours of straight sleep before I blow my window of opportunity and end up with only2 hours of sleep for a three day period because I'm working the same shift again tonight! I really appreciate those of you tht commented on the previous post. did have a conversation with Daddy yesterday about how hitty I feel overll about both kid, but I think Icame out feling worse than when I started. Long story, but I'll tell you soon! G'nite!!
Middle School
This is a WWYD because I seriously don't have to be right here. I'm not going to say who reacted how, but I'll tell you that Daddy and I have very different reactions to Jabber's most recent report card. Keep in mind that he is on ADHD meds which started last year.
In 6th Grade he made the Honor Roll for 3 out of 4 quarters. He consistently got in the mid to high 90's for grades last year with one exception, and it turns out the teacher may have been the problem, but that's another story! His teachers put an emphasis on the use of an agenda that was provided by the school and there was constant communication between teachers and parents using that as well as email.
This is 7th grade now and they got agendas at the beginning of the year and were told to use it for keeping track of their assignments etc. At Open House the teachers told us that they put the assignment for the day on the board and the students are to copy it into the agenda. Nobody reminds the students of this or any other sort of reinforcement. His report card for the first quarter this year has one A- and 5 B's. He is also in a 'booster' section for one of his classes because he borderline failed a comprehension est at the beginning of the year. Not SPED, but not at even speed with "average" kis his age. He had the same thing last year but with the meds changes we challenged that and he excelled. This year he just didn't make an effort and we kept him in to work his way out.
What does the conversation sound like that you have with him about this report card? I'm trying not to say too much here, and want to know what your gut reaction is here. If you don't reply to public comments but would like to ell me what you're thinking anyway then just right-click anywhere on the page and you'll see my email address! Thanks! Oh, and yes... I'll post again and share my thoughts after I give this some time being posted.
In 6th Grade he made the Honor Roll for 3 out of 4 quarters. He consistently got in the mid to high 90's for grades last year with one exception, and it turns out the teacher may have been the problem, but that's another story! His teachers put an emphasis on the use of an agenda that was provided by the school and there was constant communication between teachers and parents using that as well as email.
This is 7th grade now and they got agendas at the beginning of the year and were told to use it for keeping track of their assignments etc. At Open House the teachers told us that they put the assignment for the day on the board and the students are to copy it into the agenda. Nobody reminds the students of this or any other sort of reinforcement. His report card for the first quarter this year has one A- and 5 B's. He is also in a 'booster' section for one of his classes because he borderline failed a comprehension est at the beginning of the year. Not SPED, but not at even speed with "average" kis his age. He had the same thing last year but with the meds changes we challenged that and he excelled. This year he just didn't make an effort and we kept him in to work his way out.
What does the conversation sound like that you have with him about this report card? I'm trying not to say too much here, and want to know what your gut reaction is here. If you don't reply to public comments but would like to ell me what you're thinking anyway then just right-click anywhere on the page and you'll see my email address! Thanks! Oh, and yes... I'll post again and share my thoughts after I give this some time being posted.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Some background
I'm not sure what started the spiral exactly. It seems like it was bound to happen, and just needed a kick in the pants along the way. Think about this. Mystery's mother walked out when she was 5 years old. She barely called and hardly visited for the next 3 years, and she lived in the same town. It was probably worse on Mystery than Jabber because she was old enough to understand that her mother was making a choice not to spend time with her. She learned about excuses pretty young.
Then I came along and I was really tight with my kids, especially with Glory. The mother/daughter stuff was a lot of what you'd want it to be, very close and active with each other constantly. So Mystery sees this and probably started to cling to her Daddy a little more for awhile and there was surely some jealousy mixed in there too because she had been the 'house mother' for a couple years.
When I was pregnant with Daisy is probably when it all started changing. Mystery and Glory shared a room and although Glory wasn't around too much they were often at odds with normal stuff like "Stop borowing my clothes!!!" I was harder on Glory about chores and things that I wanted her to be an example of and that had to have sucked for her. I know it did. Worse, nobody cared about the example and they did whateverTF they wanted! Daddy still wouldn't choose a battle about little stuff, but waited until the huge snowball hit! Snow boulder!
So, less attention for Mystery right? Nomal actions/reactions on both sides. Oh, one surprise though. Mystery never told anyone that she had a new sister on the way. Glory invited one of Mystery's friends and the Mom to the baby shower and they were the only ones that knew until Daisy was a couple weeks old. Mystery began using a crying baby as an excuse for lack of sleep to her teachers! Shoot, she was up sneaking her butt on the phone until all hours and paying ZERO attention to the baby! Daisy got sick at a couple months old. She got one of those things that she was just getting shots for but had already been exposed to. (I can't remember if I've shared this and will have to go back in the achives to see!) She was hospitalized in PICU for just short of a month and I stayed with her 95% of the time she was there. When we came home things at our house had gone haywire! Daddy let the animals run the zoo! Oh, he came and told on them while we were there, but there's only so much I could do by phoning it in!
It has to be right around then that they started going to TW's for more than one night here or there on weekends. About 6 months later I told Daddy that things were changing too much and they were disconnecting. We should keep them home EOW and establish 'normal' with our family. He sounded just plain tired of dealing with conflicts and would only agree to keeping them one weekend a month. That last for about 7 months. Lately I can tell you that I'm tired and relieved when they're gone.
It's because there's nothing here when they're here. I can tell you that I have heard the two of them talking and Mystery has blurted little things when she is ticked off. They don't need me for anything. There is no doubt in my mind that TW has drilled it into their heads that I am nothing to them and they do not need me for anything. If they want something they should never ask me for it. Half of the reason for that is because I insist that they ask in the form of a question with manners. If there's no please in it then I ask them to repeat it. Heck I did the same thing with my bio kids and it didn't kill them! If you want something then ask, instead of telling someone that you want it and expecting them to jump.
An example. We live less than a mile from the school that Mystery attends. I used to get up and give Glory a ride to school when she asked. She got a ride sometimes too, so it was inconsistent. If there was snow on the car then I expected Glory to help me wipe/scrape it off and getting the car warmed up, possibly bundling up Daisy while I did that. Something! Not just at her beck and call. Mystery is a whole different kid though. Because she would have had to phrase it as a question in the first place she wouldn't do it. She informed Daddy that she was going to have him drop her off at MIL's house and she'd have her drive her to school 20 minutes later. Turns out that she informed MIL too. And they did it for most of one year! In the spring MIL apparently put her foot down and told her to walk from here because the weather was nice enough. The next year she began having Daddy bring her to the school when he left for work and she would wait until classes started. Doing this made her arrive 40 minutes before! What teen do you know that wants to get up and go to school 40 minutes before it starts? Heck, almost a half hour before any other kids get there! But all this happens just so she won't have to ask me for a thing.
LOL, she walks a lot of places. She won't ask me, and Daddy has stopped being a constant taxi for her, citing that she needs to ask instead of inform him. Yayyy!! He picks and chooses when he'll go with things like that, but I'll take them where I can get them! In truh she only half makes her plans and then ends up calling him to come and get her when the plans that she said she made don't materialize. I have to say that I don't like that she's 16 yrs old and walks around after dark by herself at times. We're in a pretty quiet residental neighborhood, but sometimes that is not the place to bewalking all by yourself. If I never let Glory do it at that age then why would I want her to? Shoot! Her with her tight jeans and booty all out there and everything! Looking all badass, but it's all a bunch of hype! She can talk a good game, and I think her friends are her friends so that they aren't on her bad side but she's all talk. Trust me!
I'm not trying to pick on her. I'm trying to survive around here. I take so much crap from my step-kids that I would never take from Daddy even. Being ignored to my face, if I ask them to help do something one way then it seems like they bend over backwards NOT to do it. And lied to. They know that Daddy chooses his battle a lot more lax than I do and they rely on that so they can shortcut everything. He gets sick of me telling him about whatever one of them did, but he won't do anything that would allow me to have any final authority. Hey, if he'd let me set a limit and then tell them that if they don't do it he'll make it 3x worse then maybe they'd start listening to me, ya think?
I just know that we are only ever in the same room at the same time for a VERY small percentage of any day. When he's not here neither one of them has no problem ignoring me, walking away while I'm still talking or doing an exact opposite of whatever it was right in front of me. Saying they're sorry means get off my back but I'll do it again every time.
A counselor/shrink would have a field day with us, right!
Then I came along and I was really tight with my kids, especially with Glory. The mother/daughter stuff was a lot of what you'd want it to be, very close and active with each other constantly. So Mystery sees this and probably started to cling to her Daddy a little more for awhile and there was surely some jealousy mixed in there too because she had been the 'house mother' for a couple years.
When I was pregnant with Daisy is probably when it all started changing. Mystery and Glory shared a room and although Glory wasn't around too much they were often at odds with normal stuff like "Stop borowing my clothes!!!" I was harder on Glory about chores and things that I wanted her to be an example of and that had to have sucked for her. I know it did. Worse, nobody cared about the example and they did whateverTF they wanted! Daddy still wouldn't choose a battle about little stuff, but waited until the huge snowball hit! Snow boulder!
So, less attention for Mystery right? Nomal actions/reactions on both sides. Oh, one surprise though. Mystery never told anyone that she had a new sister on the way. Glory invited one of Mystery's friends and the Mom to the baby shower and they were the only ones that knew until Daisy was a couple weeks old. Mystery began using a crying baby as an excuse for lack of sleep to her teachers! Shoot, she was up sneaking her butt on the phone until all hours and paying ZERO attention to the baby! Daisy got sick at a couple months old. She got one of those things that she was just getting shots for but had already been exposed to. (I can't remember if I've shared this and will have to go back in the achives to see!) She was hospitalized in PICU for just short of a month and I stayed with her 95% of the time she was there. When we came home things at our house had gone haywire! Daddy let the animals run the zoo! Oh, he came and told on them while we were there, but there's only so much I could do by phoning it in!
It has to be right around then that they started going to TW's for more than one night here or there on weekends. About 6 months later I told Daddy that things were changing too much and they were disconnecting. We should keep them home EOW and establish 'normal' with our family. He sounded just plain tired of dealing with conflicts and would only agree to keeping them one weekend a month. That last for about 7 months. Lately I can tell you that I'm tired and relieved when they're gone.
It's because there's nothing here when they're here. I can tell you that I have heard the two of them talking and Mystery has blurted little things when she is ticked off. They don't need me for anything. There is no doubt in my mind that TW has drilled it into their heads that I am nothing to them and they do not need me for anything. If they want something they should never ask me for it. Half of the reason for that is because I insist that they ask in the form of a question with manners. If there's no please in it then I ask them to repeat it. Heck I did the same thing with my bio kids and it didn't kill them! If you want something then ask, instead of telling someone that you want it and expecting them to jump.
An example. We live less than a mile from the school that Mystery attends. I used to get up and give Glory a ride to school when she asked. She got a ride sometimes too, so it was inconsistent. If there was snow on the car then I expected Glory to help me wipe/scrape it off and getting the car warmed up, possibly bundling up Daisy while I did that. Something! Not just at her beck and call. Mystery is a whole different kid though. Because she would have had to phrase it as a question in the first place she wouldn't do it. She informed Daddy that she was going to have him drop her off at MIL's house and she'd have her drive her to school 20 minutes later. Turns out that she informed MIL too. And they did it for most of one year! In the spring MIL apparently put her foot down and told her to walk from here because the weather was nice enough. The next year she began having Daddy bring her to the school when he left for work and she would wait until classes started. Doing this made her arrive 40 minutes before! What teen do you know that wants to get up and go to school 40 minutes before it starts? Heck, almost a half hour before any other kids get there! But all this happens just so she won't have to ask me for a thing.
LOL, she walks a lot of places. She won't ask me, and Daddy has stopped being a constant taxi for her, citing that she needs to ask instead of inform him. Yayyy!! He picks and chooses when he'll go with things like that, but I'll take them where I can get them! In truh she only half makes her plans and then ends up calling him to come and get her when the plans that she said she made don't materialize. I have to say that I don't like that she's 16 yrs old and walks around after dark by herself at times. We're in a pretty quiet residental neighborhood, but sometimes that is not the place to bewalking all by yourself. If I never let Glory do it at that age then why would I want her to? Shoot! Her with her tight jeans and booty all out there and everything! Looking all badass, but it's all a bunch of hype! She can talk a good game, and I think her friends are her friends so that they aren't on her bad side but she's all talk. Trust me!
I'm not trying to pick on her. I'm trying to survive around here. I take so much crap from my step-kids that I would never take from Daddy even. Being ignored to my face, if I ask them to help do something one way then it seems like they bend over backwards NOT to do it. And lied to. They know that Daddy chooses his battle a lot more lax than I do and they rely on that so they can shortcut everything. He gets sick of me telling him about whatever one of them did, but he won't do anything that would allow me to have any final authority. Hey, if he'd let me set a limit and then tell them that if they don't do it he'll make it 3x worse then maybe they'd start listening to me, ya think?
I just know that we are only ever in the same room at the same time for a VERY small percentage of any day. When he's not here neither one of them has no problem ignoring me, walking away while I'm still talking or doing an exact opposite of whatever it was right in front of me. Saying they're sorry means get off my back but I'll do it again every time.
A counselor/shrink would have a field day with us, right!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I don't like to post angry all the time and I'm quite angry lately. I've got a few skills that 've learned along the way and they're just not helping me out enough right now. So I've been quiet, with a few comments on others' blogs here and there. Please know that I do go in and read quite often, and I try to comment when I hit a moment of clarity. Sometimes it just hits me and isn't as clear but I give it a shot. Comments can come to mean a lot and I know that, so even if I just feel a quick "I agree with you" comes on I've tried to do it.
I have a job now and I went to orientation the other day. It's not in my career fied, it's a seasonal job in retail, and I'm working the midnight shift. Hey, I need to generate an income and not spend most of it on childcare so this is my first best option. We'll see how I do, if they offer to keep me after the holidays or not and if the shift is working for me. I have my first night shift tomorrow. If anything send me lots of wide awake vibes!
And I may have to talk about things with Mystery and Jabber lately. I'm really ticked at Daddy that things have been evolving to the way that they are and I've tried to work through some individual issues as they've come up but let's just say that I'm getting tired of being the invisible effing maid in my own home. Courtesy doesn't exist except a occasional "Sorry" and neither one of them would do a darn thing different the next time. This has been proven time and time again. The only saving grace lately is that the fall sports season is over so they both go to TW's house from Friday until Sunday. Peaceful.
On the brighter side here. We will have a new President soon! Yayyyyyy!
Man, that was a lot of typos when I hit post. Sorry, I meant to hit draft and check better! Hopefully I'll come up with a better post next time but I'm also on Cha.ntix and a week into it, so I know that isn't helping my disposition either, but I'm at 4 days with no butts and it is the right thing to do. I'll be back soon!
I have a job now and I went to orientation the other day. It's not in my career fied, it's a seasonal job in retail, and I'm working the midnight shift. Hey, I need to generate an income and not spend most of it on childcare so this is my first best option. We'll see how I do, if they offer to keep me after the holidays or not and if the shift is working for me. I have my first night shift tomorrow. If anything send me lots of wide awake vibes!
And I may have to talk about things with Mystery and Jabber lately. I'm really ticked at Daddy that things have been evolving to the way that they are and I've tried to work through some individual issues as they've come up but let's just say that I'm getting tired of being the invisible effing maid in my own home. Courtesy doesn't exist except a occasional "Sorry" and neither one of them would do a darn thing different the next time. This has been proven time and time again. The only saving grace lately is that the fall sports season is over so they both go to TW's house from Friday until Sunday. Peaceful.
On the brighter side here. We will have a new President soon! Yayyyyyy!
Man, that was a lot of typos when I hit post. Sorry, I meant to hit draft and check better! Hopefully I'll come up with a better post next time but I'm also on Cha.ntix and a week into it, so I know that isn't helping my disposition either, but I'm at 4 days with no butts and it is the right thing to do. I'll be back soon!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I picked her name very well!
I'm talking about Mystery. She sure is one!
To update on her schoolwork this year it seems that she has truly flipped a switch somewhere. Her grades came out for mid-term progress reports and she's got all B's!! Yayyy! We know that she's entirely capable of these, but in the last two years it was a struggle to get her to bring home even one B! LOL, something tells me that TW may have promised to buy her a car or something if she keeps them up! I know that Daddy read her the riot act before school started and said that there are no second chances this year for screw-ups. Who knows what made the difference, but it's wonderful that she's finally succeeding!
Fast forward to this week. She had summer reading to do for english class and she has had the books long past their due date. She's been reminded of this and Daddy told her that she needs to 'handle that', which she's just plain forgotten. Heck I go to the library once or twice a week and it would have been easy enough to ask me to take them back for her, and she can pay her fines later but at least they wouldn't be accumulating. After I got home from the library this week I saw that she'd left her books out on the kitchen table. Well shoot, if I had been asked I would have taken them but how am I supposed to know they were there?
Daddy told her that she can't go anywhere with friends until she takes care of it. He reminded her that I go to the library each week and that her grandmother works right down the street from there and would probably do it for her if asked. Guess who she asked? My guess is that because she doesn't have to actually ask her grandmother (but can just tell her that she needs for it to be done) is why she asked her. Me? I like things in the form of a question, with the word please attached. Gee whiz, if she asked me to do something for her then that would just be the end of the world wouldn't it? It's much easier to go through Grandma, have her drive around to places that she wasn't going in the first place than to ask me.
Part of me is relieved when she doesn't ask me for things. She's been 16 since this spring and hasn't gotten her driver's permit yet. When she gets it she already knows that she won't be asked if she wants to drive with me in my car. I told her last spring that since she has decided not to have conversations with me or consider much of anything that I have to say that I'm not going to be the one to take her. Heck, I did the same thing with Charming when he was that age because he gave me attitude and after driving with me twice I refused after that. His father let him when he went with him and then he took the class, so that was about it. I had/have no sympathy!! Anyone else have teen stuff like this?! Fun, eh?!
I'm going to stop now because I need my day to go better. I have a medical test this morning that entails a 'clean out' ahead of time and was up many times last night. Time for a nap!
To update on her schoolwork this year it seems that she has truly flipped a switch somewhere. Her grades came out for mid-term progress reports and she's got all B's!! Yayyy! We know that she's entirely capable of these, but in the last two years it was a struggle to get her to bring home even one B! LOL, something tells me that TW may have promised to buy her a car or something if she keeps them up! I know that Daddy read her the riot act before school started and said that there are no second chances this year for screw-ups. Who knows what made the difference, but it's wonderful that she's finally succeeding!
Fast forward to this week. She had summer reading to do for english class and she has had the books long past their due date. She's been reminded of this and Daddy told her that she needs to 'handle that', which she's just plain forgotten. Heck I go to the library once or twice a week and it would have been easy enough to ask me to take them back for her, and she can pay her fines later but at least they wouldn't be accumulating. After I got home from the library this week I saw that she'd left her books out on the kitchen table. Well shoot, if I had been asked I would have taken them but how am I supposed to know they were there?
Daddy told her that she can't go anywhere with friends until she takes care of it. He reminded her that I go to the library each week and that her grandmother works right down the street from there and would probably do it for her if asked. Guess who she asked? My guess is that because she doesn't have to actually ask her grandmother (but can just tell her that she needs for it to be done) is why she asked her. Me? I like things in the form of a question, with the word please attached. Gee whiz, if she asked me to do something for her then that would just be the end of the world wouldn't it? It's much easier to go through Grandma, have her drive around to places that she wasn't going in the first place than to ask me.
Part of me is relieved when she doesn't ask me for things. She's been 16 since this spring and hasn't gotten her driver's permit yet. When she gets it she already knows that she won't be asked if she wants to drive with me in my car. I told her last spring that since she has decided not to have conversations with me or consider much of anything that I have to say that I'm not going to be the one to take her. Heck, I did the same thing with Charming when he was that age because he gave me attitude and after driving with me twice I refused after that. His father let him when he went with him and then he took the class, so that was about it. I had/have no sympathy!! Anyone else have teen stuff like this?! Fun, eh?!
I'm going to stop now because I need my day to go better. I have a medical test this morning that entails a 'clean out' ahead of time and was up many times last night. Time for a nap!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sending stuff to our house
Anyone else get this crap? Maybe it's one of my hang-ups from days gone by that I just need to get over?
Jabber came home from TW's house with a heat pad/massager for his bed. It looks like it's supposed to be for a large chair, but he's using it for his bed. That and he brought back the shorts that I sent with him that she bought for him and he's not wearing anymore this season. He has a lot of crap that he doesn't take care of and I know it's kind of a boy thing, but why should we be the one to have to deal with his excess? I can deal with the shorts because it's clothes and seasonal stuff just gets dealt with. This massager thing? If she wants to buy him stuff for her house then I don't have anything to say about that, but whoTF does she think she is supplying him with crap for our house? If we wanted him to have something like that doesn't she think we'd have gotten him one? I swear it's just her way of trying to be in control.
I know that I have a thing about this. When Charming and Glory were younger there was a 2+ year period when their father didn't pay support. He knew that I was living 'in the system' and because he 'had to struggle so much' he somehow decided that we didn't need it more than him. By a year into it we were accunulating quite a bit of debt because that's the only way that we were able to make up for it. He worked under the table because he could find work like that sporadically and he somehow made it work. (I know that Sparkle was actually taking care of the big stuff and he's SO lucky she loved him and covered for his ass!)
Along the way he started to send a couple small things to my house. It got so that he would send some food after awhile and it was shit that I didn't buy for my kids. The sugary cereals, donuts, chips and other junk food. Not that I never bought any of that, but it started to tick me off that he could send food but he couldn't pay his support and then I could handle my business at MY house. This was absolutely one of those ways that he tried to control things at my house. One day when he sent a box of food home with them I grabbed the box off the table, brought it downstairs and then opened the back of his car and put the box in it. I had told him (not just through the kids) that I didn't want him sending food to my house anymore. The whole thing blew up.
He followed me upstairs to the apartment, busted in through my closed back door and then threatened to kill me. There was a lot of shouting and him pushing against the door with me trying to close it. Yes, with my son right in the next room. I got a restraining order. I never thought he'd be physically dangerous before that, but I never would have thought he'd have done THAT, so who knows how much further he'd go?
Tell me please, are there things that your BM does to try to be controlling at your house? Am I nuts or should she keep this crap at HER house?
Jabber came home from TW's house with a heat pad/massager for his bed. It looks like it's supposed to be for a large chair, but he's using it for his bed. That and he brought back the shorts that I sent with him that she bought for him and he's not wearing anymore this season. He has a lot of crap that he doesn't take care of and I know it's kind of a boy thing, but why should we be the one to have to deal with his excess? I can deal with the shorts because it's clothes and seasonal stuff just gets dealt with. This massager thing? If she wants to buy him stuff for her house then I don't have anything to say about that, but whoTF does she think she is supplying him with crap for our house? If we wanted him to have something like that doesn't she think we'd have gotten him one? I swear it's just her way of trying to be in control.
I know that I have a thing about this. When Charming and Glory were younger there was a 2+ year period when their father didn't pay support. He knew that I was living 'in the system' and because he 'had to struggle so much' he somehow decided that we didn't need it more than him. By a year into it we were accunulating quite a bit of debt because that's the only way that we were able to make up for it. He worked under the table because he could find work like that sporadically and he somehow made it work. (I know that Sparkle was actually taking care of the big stuff and he's SO lucky she loved him and covered for his ass!)
Along the way he started to send a couple small things to my house. It got so that he would send some food after awhile and it was shit that I didn't buy for my kids. The sugary cereals, donuts, chips and other junk food. Not that I never bought any of that, but it started to tick me off that he could send food but he couldn't pay his support and then I could handle my business at MY house. This was absolutely one of those ways that he tried to control things at my house. One day when he sent a box of food home with them I grabbed the box off the table, brought it downstairs and then opened the back of his car and put the box in it. I had told him (not just through the kids) that I didn't want him sending food to my house anymore. The whole thing blew up.
He followed me upstairs to the apartment, busted in through my closed back door and then threatened to kill me. There was a lot of shouting and him pushing against the door with me trying to close it. Yes, with my son right in the next room. I got a restraining order. I never thought he'd be physically dangerous before that, but I never would have thought he'd have done THAT, so who knows how much further he'd go?
Tell me please, are there things that your BM does to try to be controlling at your house? Am I nuts or should she keep this crap at HER house?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
If you don't like it then just go ask Daddy!
I should preface everything that I say to Jabber and Mystery with that phrase! Because I'm obviously never the final fucking word around here!
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Time flies
Sheesh, I didn't even realize that it's been this long since I posted here, bu I guess so! I'm going for an interview tomorrow for a job that seems kind of mindless and I'll take it if it's what I can get but I'm not sure how long I'd last there. I'm qualified to work with small children and have done that for many years, staying home now with Daisy since the whole pregnancy was high risk due to Advanced Maternal Age. Ha! I didn't feel old until near the end of my pregnancy!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The weekend is coming! Yayyy!!!
I'm pretty tired this week. I'm actually going a mile a minute because Daddy and I have been trying to figure out things with getting a J.O.B.
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
You HAVE to choose?
Oh, NO I don't and neither should they! HAVE to, that is.It's just not necesary to be that dumb. Mystery's school "ECI" (Emergency Contact Information) sheet came home and there are some things that these people just have never gotten right! That and I knew that we were adding TW to the mail list this year so that she doesn't 'borrow' our copy of progress reports and report cards and then never return them. This is something that she has always been completely with her rights to do, but for whatever reason has not asserted herself. Well Boo! If she doesn't want it then she can call the school and tell them! How's that going to look/sound?!
But this wasn't even the 'fun' of yesterday. On Jabber's form they had him checked off for Black and for White. I told the lady at Mystery's school office that they had apparently switched her status because it has NEVER been simply one of the other. (I think I would know!) She stood there and showed me the computer screen and said that she can't change that.
I love when I have a clue about how to work a computer and other people don't! Hold down the control key to select more than one from the list ya dummy! Ok, not everyone knows that stuff but when you have a job which requires some computer skills you'd think that this might be one of the basic ones? Shoot, to me that's like not knowing how to copy & paste! I mentioned along the way here that the folks at Jabber's school in town are capable of doing that with his information and that I really thought that since they use the same system that they would be able to do so as well. I asked if I needed to call the superintendent's office to make sure that this is a function that the schools were capable of and then I ended up leaving the office with her and the young gal beside her talking about me. You can tell when that happens because you turn around and their mouths are in a freeze frame, right?
I went home and called the data people at the school department. I figure that I can ask them if the system is capable of making this choice before I go over everyone's heads. After waiting on hold for a minute she told me to talk to the VP at Mystery's school and that she had consulted with another worker in her office who confirmed that this IS something that the system is capable of. I got voicemail when I got through the VP's line and I haven't gotten the call back that I asked for, but it's very interesting to see that the online system now reflects the change that I requested in the first place!
Time to get the old biddy behind the counter to drop the attitude. Maybe she doesn't think people should be both, or able to choose more than one? Maybe she doesn't care?
White privilege isn't always in your face stuff, you know? I think it is important for the statistics for the school as well as the more important point of not making a child choose. Heck, if your mother is french and your father is greek then which one are you supposed to choose on a form? How do you make the choice? Choose which family customs you are most familiar with and practice more? What if one isn't more than the other? I remember looking at one of these graphs back when we were looking to buy our home in this city. Wondering how much of the statistics are actually true? My preschooler isn't in the public school system yet but please know that I'm prepared to start out with her from the very beginning of Kindergarten and work my way through bugging the snot out of people that could care less because it doesn't affect them!
White privilege isn't always in your face stuff, you know? I think it is important for the statistics for the school as well as the more important point of not making a child choose. Heck, if your mother is french and your father is greek then which one are you supposed to choose on a form? How do you make the choice? Choose which family customs you are most familiar with and practice more? What if one isn't more than the other? I remember looking at one of these graphs back when we were looking to buy our home in this city. Wondering how much of the statistics are actually true? My preschooler isn't in the public school system yet but please know that I'm prepared to start out with her from the very beginning of Kindergarten and work my way through bugging the snot out of people that could care less because it doesn't affect them!Let me get off my pedestal now and go do something that isn't going to nag at my brain! I just had to say that these people that work for us really ought to be checked on their own biases and how what they do and say affects other people. Whether they care or not.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I am NOT a Martha wannabe!
OMG I don't believe that I'm doing this! Remember the new baby in our extended family? Well, this is an in-law thing. Actually there's the one that came early and another family member due at the end of next month, sibling to the first one!
So the grandmother of the new babies decided that they would have a joint baby shower. Something about not having to figure out how to do equal but separate showers. Whatever! My in-laws are procrastinators. They got the hall set up as far as the rental and all the rules and stuff, with the decorating taking place that morning. Oh, and it's this weekend by the way.
So my MIL weeds things through to me. I've spoken to the grandmother a couple times and she asked if I could do 'this' and 'this' and what I would need. It's computer graphics, why wouldn't I be able to do it?! No supplies purchased since July and nobody has shown up to select graphics. We live about 6 miles apart!
Now my MIL wants me to do something and participate. At the very least to not be left out. She somehow decided to make those colored chocolate lollipops and candies in molds. Egads! I am NOT the one! I can do a whole lot of homey, crafty stuff and I can do it pretty darn well. I just don't like this little crap! Ok, I'm not a big chocolate eater anyway, but it's more than just chocolate. They have to have ribbons around the little baggies and a plastic trinket attached. I'm sorry, but some of these frills are lost on me!
But I told MIL that I'd do it with her. Ha! I corralled Mystery into it just by waiting until MIL asked if she wanted to and then I asked her to choose the day we'd do it! Daisy came with us because it's a girl thing. If here's any kind of shower, that's a girl thing and I was raised with age not being a factor in that. All girls come!
We went to make them today and she bought chocolate that SUCKS! It melts and then before all the chunks melt some of it is overheated and starts burning! WTF?! We did that with 4 bags and decided that it just wasn't cutting it. Now I get to go pick up more bags for MIL tomorrow during the day (since I don't work and don't have a thing planned for any weekday, ever)! Next she says that she's going to make them herself tomorrow! Um, NOoooooo! It's too big of a job on the scale that she's talking about! I also dont' want to go back and spend the whole night at her house again tomorrow. So I offer to take the whole box of supplies and get started on it tomorrow. This is going to screw up my entire day! I'm thinking that I'm making some big points with my MIL! LOL, I'd better! I'm going to miss you all tomorrow! (Unless I say screw it and go at a snails pace and end up taking maybe 19 hours to do it! LOL, how much candy can 60 women eat?!
Wish me luck!
So the grandmother of the new babies decided that they would have a joint baby shower. Something about not having to figure out how to do equal but separate showers. Whatever! My in-laws are procrastinators. They got the hall set up as far as the rental and all the rules and stuff, with the decorating taking place that morning. Oh, and it's this weekend by the way.
So my MIL weeds things through to me. I've spoken to the grandmother a couple times and she asked if I could do 'this' and 'this' and what I would need. It's computer graphics, why wouldn't I be able to do it?! No supplies purchased since July and nobody has shown up to select graphics. We live about 6 miles apart!
Now my MIL wants me to do something and participate. At the very least to not be left out. She somehow decided to make those colored chocolate lollipops and candies in molds. Egads! I am NOT the one! I can do a whole lot of homey, crafty stuff and I can do it pretty darn well. I just don't like this little crap! Ok, I'm not a big chocolate eater anyway, but it's more than just chocolate. They have to have ribbons around the little baggies and a plastic trinket attached. I'm sorry, but some of these frills are lost on me!
But I told MIL that I'd do it with her. Ha! I corralled Mystery into it just by waiting until MIL asked if she wanted to and then I asked her to choose the day we'd do it! Daisy came with us because it's a girl thing. If here's any kind of shower, that's a girl thing and I was raised with age not being a factor in that. All girls come!
We went to make them today and she bought chocolate that SUCKS! It melts and then before all the chunks melt some of it is overheated and starts burning! WTF?! We did that with 4 bags and decided that it just wasn't cutting it. Now I get to go pick up more bags for MIL tomorrow during the day (since I don't work and don't have a thing planned for any weekday, ever)! Next she says that she's going to make them herself tomorrow! Um, NOoooooo! It's too big of a job on the scale that she's talking about! I also dont' want to go back and spend the whole night at her house again tomorrow. So I offer to take the whole box of supplies and get started on it tomorrow. This is going to screw up my entire day! I'm thinking that I'm making some big points with my MIL! LOL, I'd better! I'm going to miss you all tomorrow! (Unless I say screw it and go at a snails pace and end up taking maybe 19 hours to do it! LOL, how much candy can 60 women eat?!
Wish me luck!
It's that tone
The tone that drives me nuts. The tone that they don't speak to me in, but I get to listen to them speak to just about everyone else with. It's not just a teen thing because they've been perfecting this one for years. Years before I came on the scene. Trust me!
First of all you have to hear it. Picture one word. Daddy. Now take that word and put a whine on it. Now take that word (and whine) and add a WhyTF are you bothering me tone that makes it into a question. Now hear that just about every time Mystery is approached by her father last night. Jabber doesn't do it often (thank godness), but he does know how.
Daddy says "Here Mystery, make sure that you come over here and wash the grease off the stove where it splattered."
We hear "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then "I didn't do over there yet!" Whatever! We've BTDT and know what we're talking about! It wouldn't be the first time! Oh, and along with the WhyTF part comes a stop bothering me part to it that is either implied by tone or sometimes actually spoken out loud.
But doesn't that sound just piss you off to have to hear it? It does for me! When you think about it I can tell you for a certainty that she knows not to speak to ME in that voice because not only will I call her on it, but if I have to tell on her I will! Most of all just calling her on it works by now, but trust me that in the first couple of years she felt that she could speak to me in any way she wanted to. So why does she speak to other people like that? Because they LET her!
My guess is that most of them don't care. Or care enough. I can tell you that Daddy and his family (MIL, SIL) don't feel like bothering with redirecting. In my opinion they are all doing a great disservice to anyone in earshot and also to the child who learns that this form of communicating is acceptable and normal. This girl speaks like the world owes her something most of the time. And she wonders why she can't get a job!
Tell me please. Is it just me that thinks that this is nuts? That raising children who speak their mind without consideration for others is not doing them any favors? All about me. Ugh!
I've already raised a couple of kids and it didn't kill them that I didn't allow this form of expression. I guess it concerns me more because besides it being totally irritating to have to listen to, I have a young child here. One that copies from her siblings and believes that they are examples for her. It's funny but Daddy often shows that he has similar expectations of her that I do, but he doesn't have the same for Mystery and Jabber. Ugh! Like he already gave up on them?
Talk to me?
First of all you have to hear it. Picture one word. Daddy. Now take that word and put a whine on it. Now take that word (and whine) and add a WhyTF are you bothering me tone that makes it into a question. Now hear that just about every time Mystery is approached by her father last night. Jabber doesn't do it often (thank godness), but he does know how.Daddy says "Here Mystery, make sure that you come over here and wash the grease off the stove where it splattered."
We hear "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then "I didn't do over there yet!" Whatever! We've BTDT and know what we're talking about! It wouldn't be the first time! Oh, and along with the WhyTF part comes a stop bothering me part to it that is either implied by tone or sometimes actually spoken out loud.
But doesn't that sound just piss you off to have to hear it? It does for me! When you think about it I can tell you for a certainty that she knows not to speak to ME in that voice because not only will I call her on it, but if I have to tell on her I will! Most of all just calling her on it works by now, but trust me that in the first couple of years she felt that she could speak to me in any way she wanted to. So why does she speak to other people like that? Because they LET her!
My guess is that most of them don't care. Or care enough. I can tell you that Daddy and his family (MIL, SIL) don't feel like bothering with redirecting. In my opinion they are all doing a great disservice to anyone in earshot and also to the child who learns that this form of communicating is acceptable and normal. This girl speaks like the world owes her something most of the time. And she wonders why she can't get a job!
Tell me please. Is it just me that thinks that this is nuts? That raising children who speak their mind without consideration for others is not doing them any favors? All about me. Ugh!
I've already raised a couple of kids and it didn't kill them that I didn't allow this form of expression. I guess it concerns me more because besides it being totally irritating to have to listen to, I have a young child here. One that copies from her siblings and believes that they are examples for her. It's funny but Daddy often shows that he has similar expectations of her that I do, but he doesn't have the same for Mystery and Jabber. Ugh! Like he already gave up on them?
Talk to me?
Friday, September 5, 2008
When it all happens in a short time!
Geez I hate when I don't have the brain power or energy to update and get behind! Let' see how much of this I can squeeze in and process as competent thoughts! I guess a list might help and is worth a try.
- Top of the list has to be that I went to the neurologist and he put me on BP medication. I woke up the first day and the fucking buzzing isn't going on in my head! Yeah, I don't usually spell that word out without a star or something in it, but this calls for the real deal! He said that I probably never had TMJ or sinus infections, but have definitely got a migraine thing going on and it seems to be at it's peak because of my age and hormones. The buzzing thing isn't really buzzing, but a fuzzy vision and probably a light-headed, disoriented feeling that I've had for 2 years! Two frikkin years ago I went in to get checked for it and they sent me to the eye Doc and said that I was fine except that for the pre-glaucoma stuff. But that's still in the "pre" stage. How bad would that tick you off that you've been telling people for 2 frikkin years and this one itty-bitty, tiny pill takes away that? Now I'm just hoping that it's not a honeymoon stage with the meds and it will go away again!
- School started for the 2 kiddos here. Yes, that means that Mystery is back here after spending the summer with TW. It was nice while it lasted. Daisy is in 7th heaven to have her sister here and someone else to hang out with. Her fingernails are now being polished on a daily basis! The downside is that we're seeing a bit of an attitude in our 3 year old. (Wonder where she's learning that?!) Exactly what I've been afraid of, but it's not going un-noticed and even Daddy sees some of it and is addressing it. Funny thing is that he also addresses it with Mystery and not just Daisy, but Mystery never got called on some of this stuff before! Yeah for having taken a break and realizing what you don't miss and overlooked before!
- Jabber's moved in to his new bedroom! He's downstairs now and not up here bouncing around, keeping Daisy all excited and impossible to get to sleep! He was very excited to come home from TW's and find that we had basically moved him in while he was gone. There are 2 small things that need finishing touches in the room, but they're almost un-noticable so he could really care less!
- The new baby that was born a 30 week premie was released from the hospital last week when she made it up to 4 pounds! She is the tiniest thing, but with no medical concerns for health problems because of her prematurity. I've heard that as far as premie statistics go she's in the highest category for success by her gender and race, and that is surely an advantage here! The shower for her and the other new baby girl that is due at the end of October is coming up and my ILs that are involved in the planning of this are waiting for everything to be done last minute. "Oh Mimi, can you make 'these' on the computer for the shower?" Well sh*t, what can't I make for them on the computer? It's just some graphics on labels! Of course I have no materials to work with at this point and they've been asking me about it for over 2 months, but I'm sure they'll want me to pull it out of my ass at the last minute! LOL, that and bake or cook something!
- Glory update. Her EDD passed last week and we spoke on the phone a couple of times that day. She sang Happy Birthday and sounds wistful about trying to get pregnant again. I'm crossing my fingers that she and her hubby (I'm going to have to think of another name for him because Glory-Be doesn't feel like it's cutting it!) have to have a few more of their ducks lined up before they try again. So many things might not have had to be as hard as they were when she had her miscarriage if they'd been more 'set'. (Like in jobs, where rent is coming from, etc.!)
- Oh, Glory gets two numbers here. She also called me and told me that the camera that I sent to her got stolen. They were out of town, partying with 'friends' and the only possibility here is that one of them stole it out of the console of the car when she and her DH ran in a store. WhoTF hangs out with people that steal from you?!! Part of the ducks in a row thing is about not hanging out with these kind of people! I know that my Glory isn't perfect but these are not people that she finds, her husband does. I never wanted to be one of those MIL's, but this kind of crap could bring me to it.
- It's been 20 years this week since the SIDS baby "T" died. Daisy and I went and got some flowers and brought them to the cemetery. I haven't talked to T's Mom in many years because I moved almost an hour away and I'd love to be able to but not sure if she would be at this point. Remembering back to when he died I know that she said that they buried him there because there were people that would remember him and I want to make sure that she somehow knows that I'm still among them.
- I saw Charming for a couple minutes after going to the cemetery. This one's going to get a whole post of it's own as soon as I get to it because I just looked back and can't seem to find some information that I thought I've shared here before. I'll get back to you later on this!
- That's enough for now! I actually have to get my butt up from sitting today and do some running around! I'll be back though!
PS. dragonmctt, thanks for the comment recently on the old ADHD post! I'm going to be goo.gling and then maybe shoot you an email to see if you have more info or links to share! It sounds like our guy in most every way that you listed!
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