Thursday, October 2, 2008

If you don't like it then just go ask Daddy!

I should preface everything that I say to Jabber and Mystery with that phrase! Because I'm obviously never the final fucking word around here!

The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.

Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!

She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.

Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.

One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!

The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.

About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.

Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.

I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!

I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?

So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.

How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?


kwoneshe2 said...

Well, at least you got that off your chest. I do understand the frustration with being a step parent. I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. I wish I had advice, but each family is different, and what works for one doesn't for another.

My hubs knows about my blog. I've went on rants about his daughter, the oldest. But, there is nothing I wouldn't say to his face. The rest of my family doesn't know about this blog, because I get more than enough RL attacks from them, without adding fuel to the fire.

Mimi said...

Yesterday that was all inside my head. I brought it up with my sister when she called me but other than that I didn't let go with my hubby because it goes in one ear and out the other. I did bring Jabber downstairs and we re-did a couple of drawers and pulled out some clothes to bring to his mother's house so that they don't just sit here taking up space and needing to be re-folded after he whips other things around in there and it looks like a grenade went off in there!

Choosing my battles is something that seems endless, you know?!

My Hubby knows that I blog only because he has seen the blogspot header. He has no clue about this specific blog although there is nothing I say here that I haven't said to him before either. I tell him about a bunch of things that I do online but he is generally one of those people that has little use for the computer or internet and is just barely starting to get into online banking and checking for maps when he's headed somewhere new!

Thanks for your response kwonshe2! It's nice to hear back!

dragonmctt said...

Choosing battles is very difficult! Love your idea of sending extra clothes to his mom's ; )

DH knows I blog, but I only blog about the crap BM is pulling, which he knows about already. No one else that knows me knows about my blog, though. It is my place to vent about what she does, because we don't have any friends or family that even come close to understanding what is going on with her. DH's parents get it, but they have so much drama with his brother and sister that we don't want to burden them with anymore. Before I started blogging and reading other stepmom's blogs, I only had DH to talk to about my frustrations, and I would feel guilty afterwards because he would feel guilty. So this is much better. I vent, my conversations with DH can have very little to to with BM, and I get some great ideas from people who have been there!

Mimi said...

Thanks dragonmctt! Guess what he brought back from his mother's house? Yepper, both pairs of shorts and I'm sure that she told him there's no reason why he can't keep them here. I figure that I'll just wait until they make it through the wash and then I'll 'spirit' them into the summer clothes spot. From there they will likely go to Goodwill because he issure to grow beyond them before next season.

Yes, it's really cool to have others that 'get it', right?! LOL, I don't need an army behind me, but it's great that some ofyou really do know what's up and can offer encouragement, advice and support!