I'm drafting this before I get any possible replies because I want to start with my own gut reaction, which is not surprised at all! The teachers said at Open House that they (most all anyway) will be giving him homework for Monday through Thursday pretty consistently. I can't tell you how many times I had him bring his agenda to me to make sure that he's keeping up and he hasn't filled in a darn thing. I told him that I want him to use the agenda just like last year, if there is no assignment then N/H should be in there for that class. After that he would come home, stand at the kitchen table leaning over his agenda writing N/H through most of the classes and then handing it to me. He also told me several times that the teachers don't check the agendas and they don't care if they use them or not. I'm starting to believe him.
So I've been the only one that gives a shit that he needs to keep things organized in order to be successful. If he can be that A student, then why shouldn't he be? How did less than the best or mediocre suddenly become so acceptable? His ADHD is a factor with him staying focused and being successful. I understand that the teachers are trying to let them grow into learning responsibility, but how do you go from full accountability to just telling them one at the beginning of the school year? The teachers used to make a 1-2 minute time for the kids to copy the assignment at the beginning of class. They used to check the agendas each week and make sure that the students had the parents sign off that they had 'checked' the daily assignments, or else I'd get an email. If everything was all set the kids got to go into a giftie box with pencils, pens and other little things including plastic squishy balls etc.
I'm not saying that they have to keep giving the kids that sort of incentive, but it sounds like they don't tell the student to write down the ssignment. I know for certain that one teacher never got a homework assignment from him and we found out 3 weeks later when progress reports came out. Too late to do anything about it other than a talking to about not letting it happen again. Too little, too late.
I've emailed every one of his teachers except for whoever he has for "flex" right now. I have no clue who that is because he hasn't shared that information and the school has sent us nothing to let us know. Yes, it's about time for me to email the school and get that information. I love email paper trails! One thing that they are showing already this year is the lack of response, and yes there are actual questions in them instead of just sharing information.
The woman that does the 'booster' class was very nice and showed me a few things about why the program exists and what the expectations are. He would have monthly opportunities to "test out" and back into the "regular" class, and she would get in touch with me after he tested. The contact that I got was the corner of a piece of notebook paper that had a number on it which he brought home from school one day last month. 163. Out of 169 which is the score that he needs to be above. He started out about 60 points under, so he is definitely gaining but what in the heck kind of contact is this?!
Daddy said that when he saw the report card the only thing that he said to Jabber is that two of those B's are minuses and that's very close to being a C. He'd better watch out for that.
I'm really disappointed in both of them. Yes, B's are not the worst grades but when you are capable of doing so much more with very little effort then why would you just say nothing about the difference in the grades? I think that by Daddy not even mentioning that he is capable of higher grades that he's also letting Jabber down. Jabber knows that a great deal is expected of him, or should be. I'm not just talking about him being the only male child to pass down the family name, but that taking shortcuts and being lazy doesn't get you as much as making an actual effort.
Aside from school I've been sayin that Jabber is taking too many shortcuts since early last spring and have been met with rolling eyes, at least it feels like it. His pediatrician seems to think we have an angel child here and that I choose too many battles. I think he needs a meds change, because I know that he has been that angel child when he was going up in meds. Then he got to a plateau and could give a crap about so many things. I've been to the promised land... It was great to be there and have so many things running smoothly! Why can't we keep that?
It's just not fair. Maybe if I never knew that things can be so good it wouldn't suck as much this way. But we have, and you can't take that experience back. Like losing your virg.inity, you can't go back! Isn't it unfair to Jabber? Daddy and I have talked earlier this year about expectations and ater I said that Jabber mightbe our one kid that actually has the grades to go to college Daddy told me that he doesn't see it hapening. He wants Jabber to pick a trade when he gets to High School and dig into that, because he doesn't have it in him to follow through with serious eduational endeavors. Now Jabber is a tinkerer. The kids that all the neighbor kids bring their bikes to if they need something tightened, replaced or worked on. He takes thing apart ALL the time and has gotten a bunch of things back together again. Not all, but we generally don't let him dig in until we hd no other recourse anyway! Things like math ome so easily to him. Science is a breeze. Sentence structure and vocabulary suck, but he's not the first person on the planet that has no interest in those!
I'm waiting for replies and then see how they fit into what I've already drfted here. Thanks for your comments on this one ladies!
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It's Monday morning and I'm going to publish this as is. I got some comments and will come back and reply to each of them, but I worked an overnight shift last night and need to take this opporunity to get in a few hours of straight sleep before I blow my window of opportunity and end up with only2 hours of sleep for a three day period because I'm working the same shift again tonight! I really appreciate those of you tht commented on the previous post. did have a conversation with Daddy yesterday about how hitty I feel overll about both kid, but I think Icame out feling worse than when I started. Long story, but I'll tell you soon! G'nite!!
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Middle School
This is a WWYD because I seriously don't have to be right here. I'm not going to say who reacted how, but I'll tell you that Daddy and I have very different reactions to Jabber's most recent report card. Keep in mind that he is on ADHD meds which started last year.
In 6th Grade he made the Honor Roll for 3 out of 4 quarters. He consistently got in the mid to high 90's for grades last year with one exception, and it turns out the teacher may have been the problem, but that's another story! His teachers put an emphasis on the use of an agenda that was provided by the school and there was constant communication between teachers and parents using that as well as email.
This is 7th grade now and they got agendas at the beginning of the year and were told to use it for keeping track of their assignments etc. At Open House the teachers told us that they put the assignment for the day on the board and the students are to copy it into the agenda. Nobody reminds the students of this or any other sort of reinforcement. His report card for the first quarter this year has one A- and 5 B's. He is also in a 'booster' section for one of his classes because he borderline failed a comprehension est at the beginning of the year. Not SPED, but not at even speed with "average" kis his age. He had the same thing last year but with the meds changes we challenged that and he excelled. This year he just didn't make an effort and we kept him in to work his way out.
What does the conversation sound like that you have with him about this report card? I'm trying not to say too much here, and want to know what your gut reaction is here. If you don't reply to public comments but would like to ell me what you're thinking anyway then just right-click anywhere on the page and you'll see my email address! Thanks! Oh, and yes... I'll post again and share my thoughts after I give this some time being posted.
In 6th Grade he made the Honor Roll for 3 out of 4 quarters. He consistently got in the mid to high 90's for grades last year with one exception, and it turns out the teacher may have been the problem, but that's another story! His teachers put an emphasis on the use of an agenda that was provided by the school and there was constant communication between teachers and parents using that as well as email.
This is 7th grade now and they got agendas at the beginning of the year and were told to use it for keeping track of their assignments etc. At Open House the teachers told us that they put the assignment for the day on the board and the students are to copy it into the agenda. Nobody reminds the students of this or any other sort of reinforcement. His report card for the first quarter this year has one A- and 5 B's. He is also in a 'booster' section for one of his classes because he borderline failed a comprehension est at the beginning of the year. Not SPED, but not at even speed with "average" kis his age. He had the same thing last year but with the meds changes we challenged that and he excelled. This year he just didn't make an effort and we kept him in to work his way out.
What does the conversation sound like that you have with him about this report card? I'm trying not to say too much here, and want to know what your gut reaction is here. If you don't reply to public comments but would like to ell me what you're thinking anyway then just right-click anywhere on the page and you'll see my email address! Thanks! Oh, and yes... I'll post again and share my thoughts after I give this some time being posted.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
If you don't like it then just go ask Daddy!
I should preface everything that I say to Jabber and Mystery with that phrase! Because I'm obviously never the final fucking word around here!
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
The boy needs help with organizing things. Partly because he's a boy and partly because of his ADHD. He has this fun little way of having a fucking answer for everything, even if there wasn't a damn question asked. If he said that's why he did "x" then it's justified. End of story.
Well, maybe it makes fucking sense to him, but that doesn't make it fucking right! It may also not be a big fucking deal, but when you add all the damn little things together then I just plain get screwed. I've tried telling Daddy that since he gets tired of having to come home and straighten things out then maybe if he'd give me a little bit of authority he wouldn't have to! Most of the time my crap is with Jabber just because Mystery doesn't give a crap and I've given up on so many things with her. If she wants to be an ignorant, selfish child and have every damn thing her way then she's going to fucking find out one of these days that it just ain't like that!
She can't get a job. Maybe because she doesn't like know like how to like speak english? Her nervous laugh and then follow up sarcasm probably doesn't impress any prospective employers either. Minimal effort is a typical teen thing and I realize that but when it comes time to MAKE an effort she doesn't even seem to realize what would it would look like to make one. When she isn't getting just what she wants here by simply stating that she has already planned it then she just runs off to MIL's house around the corner. This usually puts me on MIL's glare list and I don't get spoken to for over a month. Whatever. They can baby her all they want and take care of her ass for the rest of her life. I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of this house! I'm not really pissed at her today, but those are some things that are part of the package.
Jabber loses things all the time and forgets them or just plain assumes that someone else will cover his butt. He has more places to put things in his bedroom than anyone else in the house, but every time he has to put things away and he doesn't feel like doing it he makes up a new place for stuff. What is a dresser for? Clothes, right? Well, because he doesn't want to pay attention he has made his top drawer (which used to be for shirts, not underwear like most 'normal' people) into his junk drawer. I do understand a junk drawer, but that means stuff that doesn't have another place to go, right? In his case it's also a transition drawer for stuff that he just didn't feel like putting where it goes. This can include clothes.
One drawer for pants and shorts, one drawer for jammies and long-johns and one for socks, undies and UNDER shirts. Right? Last spring because he decided that he no longer wants to fold shirts he has been hanging ALL of his shirts in the closet, except for pajamas and UNDERS. Want to know why I'm doing that one in all caps? Because it is supposed to be the ones that are worn under! Damn, that was hard, right?! To him that just means the ones that are supposed to be worn under, but if he feels like being 'cool' then he'll wear them wherever. I'm sorry but I don't approve of wife-beater shirts being worn as public clothing. Between that and the pants hanging down your ass I just cringe every time I see them. You DO know that the pants thing started in jail, right? The convicts had to wear jail issue and since you can't wear them too small many had to wear them too big. Then they hang.
NOT something that I believe that ANY of our children should aspire to! Call me old fashioned! Even Charming knows that I will tell him to put a belt on or do something so that I don't have to look at his butt or his drawers. It's funny, but he listens to me when I say that too!
The things that's pissing me off today is that yesterday he decided to start screwing with things and put things where there is no order. If he could do it well then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, but it's just another means to escape doing anything without being half-assed. His stuff is thrown in new drawers and the entertainment center. Hey! How about getting some of the junk out of the junk drawer and into there so that you can put clothes in the drawer where they actually belong?! Ok, this isn't even what's pissing me off. Last night I told him that when he finished his daily job (which I had helped him with initially and then he had slacked off on and it could have been done 3 hours earlier instead of waiting until right before bedtime) I told him that it needs to be done the right way. He gets fucking paid to do this job and then he only fucking halfway does it, and expects to get paid?! After doing his job he needed to bring order back to his clothes in the drawers or I would be taking them out and putting some order to them myself, which would mean that he may NEVER find some of them again.
About 10 minutes later while I was putting Daisy to sleep he came upstairs and I heard him whispering to Daddy in our room. He brought some clothes up with him and I'll bet you $1,000,000 that he told his father that he didn't want to put his stuff in order like I asked him to.
Call me a control freak if you wanna', but when I told you something and you fucking run to Daddy to screw me over, then I'm pissed at YOU! Oh yes, Daddy gets it too. He fucking knows better than to think that this is an out of the blue thing with Jabber. Maybe it doesn't make a ton of sense on the choose your battle scale of things, but if I could get some fucking backup on some of the smaller stuff then there wouldn't be as many fucking battles. Just call me tired today. Tired of feeling that they are sponges and all I get is the wrung out nasty stuff that is left in a puddle when you wring it out.
I have to move on to other things today. Guess what I'm doing? I'm in a cleaning mood and I'm going to clean the crap out of some parts of this house! Ha! Daddy will know what that means when he gets home, but my guess is that he won't ask until way later! When he's looking for his stuff!
I have to say too that I don't always cuss that much, or I make it look like I would cuss but try to be a little polite with stars instead of some of the letters. I also have other online communities that I'm a part of. I have a private blog for my family. It's mostly the pretty one. Cute or embarrassing photos of family members are posted there along with the basic updates of things going on. Not real big on the colorful, actual commentary there because it's family that I might not share all of the information with, kwim?
So I come here. They don't know about this blog. Nobody who knows me does and I kind of like it that way because then I can vent like this when I need to. I am part of a message board that are women from a specific topic area and it's private and we all talk about everything there. Well, some things I just don't bring up there too much anymore because they have no clue about step family stuff. In their beautiful world with their beautiful husbands and their beautiful children who sidestep from time to time my stuff about wanting to call the cops on Mystery gets met with complete disbelief and poor you responses. Go to counseling. Screw that! I want someone that reads to tell me that she sure did sound like she was out of line, being a bitch or whatever was the case at the time.
How about the rest of you? I mean the four of you that come by here more than once? Do others know that you blog? Read your stuff? Are they IRL folks or online pals that know you from another group? Ever get an itch to reveal youself?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Time flies
Sheesh, I didn't even realize that it's been this long since I posted here, bu I guess so! I'm going for an interview tomorrow for a job that seems kind of mindless and I'll take it if it's what I can get but I'm not sure how long I'd last there. I'm qualified to work with small children and have done that for many years, staying home now with Daisy since the whole pregnancy was high risk due to Advanced Maternal Age. Ha! I didn't feel old until near the end of my pregnancy!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Since I got Daisy set up at a local daycare she has been going a couple days a week to get in the rhythm and so that I can schedule interviews. The interview that I have tomorrow morning is not in my field, but I got an interview quickly just based on my resume information and cover letter. I need to generate an income, heck at least to pay for Daisy's daycare!
She likes it so far and I actually found out that they have openings there which I'm qualified for! When I drop her off in the classroom I've been getting a rush, seeing activities and things that just bring me back in time! I revamped my resume and printed it out so that I can bring it in today and set up an interview with them. Something tells me that I'd like working there more than the last place that I worked and it would be really great to be on-site with her.
Ther other kids here are doing okay too. Mystery is somehow not so bad to live with right now. We're working on remodeling her room so she's in a bit of limbo, sleeping in Jabber's old room since we demo'd hers. She been tolerable as far as attitude and not being the worst role model, as well as actually making some effort in school so far. I love that the school uses an online system for showing us their grades and we can keep an eye on things there!
Jabber apparently didn't make a lot of effort on a reading test and has been put into a special program again. Last year they did this to him and because he was starting out with ADHD meds we refused the services and had him put back into his regular schedule. This wasn't a mistake because he made the honor roll more times than not last year and has shown that he is completely capable of doing the work. Surely he just didn't make an effort on the one test! It turns out that this year the program that they put him in is right in his same classroom, just in another section of the room. As soon as he brings up his scores he can 'test out' and back with the regular class. After meeting with the VP and talking to the special teacher we've decided to leave him in it and tell him that it's entirely up to him to show that he's capable, otherwise he probably isn't.
And then there's Glory. My dear Glory living across the country with her hubby (I still need a different name for him!). He's not working, got to get some things cleared, and then he needs to growTF up! Apparently he spent the night in the ER last week getting aout 8 or 9 stitches because he was wrestling around with a friend and got a gash on his forehead. Was alcohol involved? you bet! Ugh! Glory talks about trying to move from where they are and he refuses. His family is there (basically his mother, and then two siblings followed later) and these are the same people that turn their backs when things are tough for Glory and him. I guess you could say that I have a grudge about Glory's MIL saying that she couldn't give her rides to the Doc in between D&C's. Trying to lay down some tough love doesn't really work when you're aiming it at my baby girl and it's your son that you're pissed at!
Daddy and I talk between ourselves and it really seems that we're just waiting for the expiration date for Glory. That she'll end up back here and be defeated, probably pregnant. Please don't think that's what we want to think, but she just doesn't give up and will stick with things for as long as it can go. She's called and been feeling down, sad or overwhelmed but usually on the very next call she is willing to get right back on the horse and see that there are options. I just wish that he wasn't the biggest part of her options.
Lastly today I'll tell you that I have a birthday coming up on Thursday. I will be 47, which is a bit of a milestone for me because my Mom was 47 years old when she was diagnosed with the breast cancer that she died from at age 51. It sort of feels like I'll be living on borrowed time? Yes, I do get my yearly mammograms too. I think it's been 18 years now with only 2 years off because of pregnancy and nursing. If you get a chance to come by and say Hi on Thursday that would be nice to see!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The weekend is coming! Yayyy!!!
I'm pretty tired this week. I'm actually going a mile a minute because Daddy and I have been trying to figure out things with getting a J.O.B.
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Ugh!! I've loved staying at home and he seems to think that when I go back to work we'll have more money around here! Ha! I'm just waiting to see when it hits him. We'll spend every little bit more that I make and still owe on all kinds of things! He needs to learn to just say NO!
Anyway, I have a lead on a pretty cool sounding job that would not be the 'in charge' person that I have always previously been, but at the same pay scale of the last job that I had. I think I can handle that to jump back in with! Daisy on the other hand is going to go through some stuff here. She's going to end up in full day care across town from me and she has only ever been away from me for up to 6 hours maybe 4 times in her life?! And then always with Daddy or MIL. Yeah, I know it's time to cut the umbilical chord and she does want to expand her horizons, but I think she ismore interested in expanding OUR horizons, together! She'll be fine though, I have no doubt that she's going to enjoy going somewhere and playing with other kids all day!
Today I take Jabber to see the Doc for his meds check. Remember that we missed last month's appointment because TW didn't return him, right? I tell you this boy is driving me nuts! He's back to being the NOISY, overacting child, exaggerating most everything he does and can't walk through a room without touching several things around him. Not just touching but tagging, slapping, and jumping. I just want to turn his dial DOWN!! I've been in touch with the school and they are supposed to have assessment forms for me today, but I also know that the teachers are less than enthusiastic about filling them out because the school year is so new. I'm trying to tell them that their initial observations are important because they are usually less biased, but they seem to be comfortable with those biases. Cross your fingers that they did the forms for me!
And Mystery seems to be doing her schoolwork, although we can't tell when she is doing it because we never see her doing any! She comes up with 'little' lies around here and isn't getting called on any of it and seems to really believe her own truths. When she wants to go somewhere with school friends she tells Daddy that this, this and this is set up. (Rides, location and times.) Then she leaves and ends up calling for a ride because someone's mother suddenly can't do it or when she gets home tells us that she went somewhere completely different and gives some excuse. She really believes that because she says it, then it's so. Until it doesn't happen and then there's another excuse. Daddy puts up with it and I'm just sitting here and shutting my mouth until he brings it up and then I can't understand why he thinks it will be any different! I just wish that she'd see that the truth is the truth and it doesn't bend as much as her version of it. She's a teen though, and I have a clue about them trying so many things and if he's going to let it happen then I just have to choose my battles.
I just can't wait for Friday so that we get a break!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
How stupid do they think we are?
This is not about the BMs in the world! It's about the kiddos! I tell you that I'm just having one of those days that makes me want to scream. Matter of fact I basically did at one point.
I don't know if I'm the only one that does this, but I will not continue driving with a child aggravating me and argueing with me. I pull over and address the subject so that I am not distracted while I'm driving. I probably get louder because it's aggravating that I had to stop to address this. Yes, that was us today on the way home from running errands.
First of all, how in the heck do you think that I asked you a question when I told you that I frequently see that you do NOT wear your seatbelt in the car? Is there anything on this planet that I said in that statement that makes you think that I doubt what I saw or that I care why you don't wear it? Are you sure that you want to tell me that I didn't see that and in effect call me a liar?
Like I said in the car, you cannot tell me what I saw or didn't see. I didn't ask you if you did or not and was not interested in having a conversation about the truth in that statement. Since I really don't lie to you (but will admit to witholding information frequently) then my truths don't really need to be questioned right now, do they? You have a much worse track record for making information fit your purposes and absolutely not being 100% truths. Or even close. Oh, yu'll stick to your lie because you have to, but it sucks when you have to fess up to it because there is too much pointing to the fact that it is a lie. Then the tears come. A natural response.
But come on. At 12 years old you know the difference and although you do come to believe that your version of events is true because your perception (quite often hand-in-hand with your ADHD) is what counts. You never focused on what didn't matter to you so everything else is a moot point.
Grrrrr.... and then Daddy comes home and wonders why my day is off. "I don't want to come home sometimes to hear that crap that goes on around here." Boo hoo.
Thanks for listening. MRI in one hour, let's see if my head doesn't explode on screen!
I don't know if I'm the only one that does this, but I will not continue driving with a child aggravating me and argueing with me. I pull over and address the subject so that I am not distracted while I'm driving. I probably get louder because it's aggravating that I had to stop to address this. Yes, that was us today on the way home from running errands.
First of all, how in the heck do you think that I asked you a question when I told you that I frequently see that you do NOT wear your seatbelt in the car? Is there anything on this planet that I said in that statement that makes you think that I doubt what I saw or that I care why you don't wear it? Are you sure that you want to tell me that I didn't see that and in effect call me a liar?
Like I said in the car, you cannot tell me what I saw or didn't see. I didn't ask you if you did or not and was not interested in having a conversation about the truth in that statement. Since I really don't lie to you (but will admit to witholding information frequently) then my truths don't really need to be questioned right now, do they? You have a much worse track record for making information fit your purposes and absolutely not being 100% truths. Or even close. Oh, yu'll stick to your lie because you have to, but it sucks when you have to fess up to it because there is too much pointing to the fact that it is a lie. Then the tears come. A natural response.
But come on. At 12 years old you know the difference and although you do come to believe that your version of events is true because your perception (quite often hand-in-hand with your ADHD) is what counts. You never focused on what didn't matter to you so everything else is a moot point.
Grrrrr.... and then Daddy comes home and wonders why my day is off. "I don't want to come home sometimes to hear that crap that goes on around here." Boo hoo.
Thanks for listening. MRI in one hour, let's see if my head doesn't explode on screen!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
On being effective
Daddy tells me that he really hates it when he comes home and I tell him about things or events that have taken place since Jabber & Mystery have gotten home from school. Basically things that he needs to deal with. I didn't think of a quick response at the time (it was one of those headACHE days) but by now I have! I think that I'm waiting for another opportunity and I hope to find one that doesn't present itself in a stressful situation.
Basically it's that he has rendered me ineffective. Whatever I say is not gospel, it is just what floats until Daddy gets home. He thinks I'm too picky and choose too many battles. That I should lighten up and just relax. Well, let's just give one example of relaxing here.
These two children do not know how to speak in english. I'm not a huge grammar nut, but they are really lazy and absolutely want to come off as 'cool' at every moment. A little ebonics, slang, teen-speak, and mostly lazy speech. Of course there is the internet sland and abbreviations at play here as well, using them as if they were part of the english language! Mystery no longer knows how to speak without using "was like, and then like, I mean like and other variations using like instead of what she actually means. Jabber is stuck with me here more and he knows that it's not just me crawling up his butt because I have told him many times that I do not want anyone teaching Daisy to speak like that and not know english in the first place.
He does have grammar issues and I'm really just talking about standard things like using complete sentences. I think with him some of it is his ADHD because he seems to move ahead to the next thing in his brain and forget that the actual subject or other important part of the sentence structure is missing. A lot of the rest is just lazy and since there are so many other lazy folks around him (his peers, Mystery and yes, Daddy and I sometimes too) that take shortcuts it is supposed to be acceptable. Yes, everybody does this sometimes. My thing is that they should know what the actual version of some of this stuff is too. At our household I don't believe that these two do.
The thing that we've heard a lot lately is the word "wid" or "wit" instead of "with". Jabber will write that on schoolwork and not be corrected and that drives me nuts. The teachers tell me that "Oh, they eventually 'get' stuff like that." When in the heck will they if they don't get called on it? Jabber gets 105% on his paper because the points that he was being taught were successful, but when you look at the paper it is really awful that they consider a paper with so many mistakes better than 100%!
If they're supposed to eventually get this stuff then maybe it is because the school system believes that the children are being taught some of this stuff at home? Daddy thinks that we are the ones that are supposed to ease up an they will get taught some of that at school! Ya think?
Mystery applied for a couple of jobs last spring. She had an interview for one and when she came home and told me play-by-play how the interview went and what her responses were I had to bite my tongue. I am not the least bit surprised that they didn't want to hire her! She spoke in slang/lazy terms, didn't seem to consider her responses before talking and was probably really nervous and giddy throughout. Yes, that could be an age thing, but that she didn't seem to have a clue was probably one reason that she wasn't called back. Shoot, I know that I wouldn't have hired her! And in her own little world where life is all rosey and on her terms she should be rich by now! She's been 16 since March and has nothing going to get her driver's license. Daddy got her the state book to read to go take the test at the beginning of the summer but do you think she's done anything? Probably has read 3 pages and stopped thinking that she'll cram the night efore she takes it.
I'm going offbase here! If I can't even be effective on some of the simple day-to-day stuff around here then he's just going to have to keep covering those bases. He'll have to be the one to put his foot down because he has not allowed me the ability to do so effectively here.
If you are in a step-family is there one person that lays down the law? What happens to the other person?
Basically it's that he has rendered me ineffective. Whatever I say is not gospel, it is just what floats until Daddy gets home. He thinks I'm too picky and choose too many battles. That I should lighten up and just relax. Well, let's just give one example of relaxing here.
These two children do not know how to speak in english. I'm not a huge grammar nut, but they are really lazy and absolutely want to come off as 'cool' at every moment. A little ebonics, slang, teen-speak, and mostly lazy speech. Of course there is the internet sland and abbreviations at play here as well, using them as if they were part of the english language! Mystery no longer knows how to speak without using "was like, and then like, I mean like and other variations using like instead of what she actually means. Jabber is stuck with me here more and he knows that it's not just me crawling up his butt because I have told him many times that I do not want anyone teaching Daisy to speak like that and not know english in the first place.
He does have grammar issues and I'm really just talking about standard things like using complete sentences. I think with him some of it is his ADHD because he seems to move ahead to the next thing in his brain and forget that the actual subject or other important part of the sentence structure is missing. A lot of the rest is just lazy and since there are so many other lazy folks around him (his peers, Mystery and yes, Daddy and I sometimes too) that take shortcuts it is supposed to be acceptable. Yes, everybody does this sometimes. My thing is that they should know what the actual version of some of this stuff is too. At our household I don't believe that these two do.
The thing that we've heard a lot lately is the word "wid" or "wit" instead of "with". Jabber will write that on schoolwork and not be corrected and that drives me nuts. The teachers tell me that "Oh, they eventually 'get' stuff like that." When in the heck will they if they don't get called on it? Jabber gets 105% on his paper because the points that he was being taught were successful, but when you look at the paper it is really awful that they consider a paper with so many mistakes better than 100%!
If they're supposed to eventually get this stuff then maybe it is because the school system believes that the children are being taught some of this stuff at home? Daddy thinks that we are the ones that are supposed to ease up an they will get taught some of that at school! Ya think?
Mystery applied for a couple of jobs last spring. She had an interview for one and when she came home and told me play-by-play how the interview went and what her responses were I had to bite my tongue. I am not the least bit surprised that they didn't want to hire her! She spoke in slang/lazy terms, didn't seem to consider her responses before talking and was probably really nervous and giddy throughout. Yes, that could be an age thing, but that she didn't seem to have a clue was probably one reason that she wasn't called back. Shoot, I know that I wouldn't have hired her! And in her own little world where life is all rosey and on her terms she should be rich by now! She's been 16 since March and has nothing going to get her driver's license. Daddy got her the state book to read to go take the test at the beginning of the summer but do you think she's done anything? Probably has read 3 pages and stopped thinking that she'll cram the night efore she takes it.
I'm going offbase here! If I can't even be effective on some of the simple day-to-day stuff around here then he's just going to have to keep covering those bases. He'll have to be the one to put his foot down because he has not allowed me the ability to do so effectively here.
If you are in a step-family is there one person that lays down the law? What happens to the other person?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Just venting a little
Last night Daddy told me that he got a call from Jabber. He said that TW was taking them to NYC (Sunday) and he won't be coming home until Monday. He won't make it to his Dr. appointment this morning because of this, and I have to call and settle things with the pedi's office. Oh joy!
I understand that TW figured that it wouldn't be a big deal because she didn't know that he has an appointment and he has been staying on Mondays until he has football practice. But she shouldn't just assume stuff like that and notify us of things at the last minute. I told Daddy that if we get charged for the missed appointment that I sure would like it if SHE has to pay for it, and he agreed. I think that we both know that won't probably happen because she's not that responsible.
This is just one of many examples of when she assumes that because she wants to do it, then it will be done. Screw anyone else that it affects in any way, shape or form. And Jabber wants to go because he's never been to NYC. I sure hope they are going to see something and not just do something dumb like drive someone back to their house and turn around and come right home, for his sake.
So, does this happen to you? Want to vent? Join me!
I understand that TW figured that it wouldn't be a big deal because she didn't know that he has an appointment and he has been staying on Mondays until he has football practice. But she shouldn't just assume stuff like that and notify us of things at the last minute. I told Daddy that if we get charged for the missed appointment that I sure would like it if SHE has to pay for it, and he agreed. I think that we both know that won't probably happen because she's not that responsible.
This is just one of many examples of when she assumes that because she wants to do it, then it will be done. Screw anyone else that it affects in any way, shape or form. And Jabber wants to go because he's never been to NYC. I sure hope they are going to see something and not just do something dumb like drive someone back to their house and turn around and come right home, for his sake.
So, does this happen to you? Want to vent? Join me!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Somebody talk to me about ADHD?
I've probably mentioned that Jabber seems to be due for a meds change. If I haven't then I should have. We see his pediatrician for this instead of some other sort of specialist and the pedi says that the things that he is doing that I am pointing out are more likely 'normal' 12 yr old boy things.
Yeah, yeah... whatever.
I spend more waking hours with Jabber than any other human being on the planet. WhoTF would know when things change with him? We spent YEARS saying "Oh no! Jabber can't be ADHD! He's just seeking attention." And who wouldn't have some issues with that given some of the wonderful factors of his childhood?
TWrecks left when he was a little over 1 year old. Left. She still lived in town, but she really stopped participating in her children's lives for at least the next 4 years. I don't count a phone call for 5 minutes 2-3 times a week participating. I don't call stopping by to visit for twenty minutes once a month participating. The one thing that is different between him and Mystery is that he didn't know what he was missing, because he was that much younger.
"Motor driven" is a description often used. A lot of boys are! Show me one that's not! I remember the HUGE differences with the motor differences between Charming and Glory and it's just a guy thing, I swear! This is absolutely more than that.
Very often Daddy thinks I choose too many battles. That there are a lot of things that I could 'let go' and not be such a pill about. Yes, some of them are dumber than others, like I hate listening to people chew. I don't care what they're chewing, I don't really need to hear it from across the room or from sitting three feet from them.
Now the pedi seems to probably have it in his head that I'm the one that's nuts and too damn picky.
Before I start this list let me tell you that I KNOW that a lot of these things on this list are typical for a twelve year old boy!
I KNOW, I KNOW! My point here is that when Jabber's meds are a their best he makes a f*ing effort to chill out. Most of these things don't seem to require an effort and it's not like the kiss-ass kid comes out in him either. Jabber is a lover, he loves deeply and with all of his heart. He really wants to make people he loves happy and for them to be happy with him. He has a LOT of years of people being pissed off at him for what now appears to have been completely beyond his control. Here is a list of some of the things that tip me off that a meds adjustment will be needed:
When he enters the room I hear, "Mimi, can I do that?"
Do What?! Most of the time it's something that is on tv, but it could be the radio, the computer, or just something in his head that he thought of and he assumes that we know what's going on inside his head?! Help me!!!
Oh yeah, calling out the name of the person that he's speaking to EVERY damn time he is speaking to them. Sometimes you just talk to people, right? Do you say their name first every time? Well, because he talks so much Daddy and I spend a lot of time here hoping that he might be talking to someone else and if we're not the name at the beginning we're very often relieved that we get a break this time. We've learned to scan the room because we are trying to teach him not to say the name all the time thought. It's annoying to have someone calling out to you ALL the time, but also for me having him do it means that Daisy hears and it's not f*ing funny that she thinks she can call me by my first name. My name is Mommy to her!
Do I have to say it again? I KNOW that a lot of this stuff is normal kid/boy stuff, but when he's on his game these things are not a constant issue, all day long. I wish we could go back and have him diagnosed at an earlier age so he didn't have so many years of people dodging him because he was just 'too much to take'. We're in the middle of summer vacation right now. The 'dead zone'. The flurry of activity at the beginning and end are just that, either over with already or waiting to happen.
So the thing that I started to say here today is that he needs a meds change. It's not me just being picky and a nag, I just get the accelerated version of everything because I get it all the time, over and over again!
I'm not nuts. He has friends that come over and hang out. Some from school and some from the neighborhood. They come here. His best friend's mother told me last summer that she needed to have more energy to have Jabber come over and hang out with her kiddo, and she went on with a list of things that I already know about Jabber! He doesn't get invites to go hang out somewhere else because he's too much for anyone else. This year I am FINALLY getting a little bit of a break because Mystery has been spending so much time at TWrecks and Daddy said that she can't go if he can't, so she has to be willing to 'watch him' there or she'd have to put up with me here! Hah!
We've been using Con.certa, recently adding Ten.ex to it, but we just stepped down this month on dosage of the T because an increase in that was producing no good effects and he's been complaining of headaches. Next month we'll decide if there's going to be a switch and I want it to be before he goes back to school and starts sucking in behavior there. I want it before he is all the way into football season and might not pay attention and get hurt. He's supposed to be a linebacker this year.
While looking for graphics for this post I found a site that I hadn't seen before. (How is that?!) They talk a lot about "Attend" and that it is an OTC thing. Anyone have experience with it? I'd love to hear it because if it takes awhile for weaning from the other stuff and then getting this to take effect then that's going to suck for a little bit, but I just want him to be well. Know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah... whatever.I spend more waking hours with Jabber than any other human being on the planet. WhoTF would know when things change with him? We spent YEARS saying "Oh no! Jabber can't be ADHD! He's just seeking attention." And who wouldn't have some issues with that given some of the wonderful factors of his childhood?
TWrecks left when he was a little over 1 year old. Left. She still lived in town, but she really stopped participating in her children's lives for at least the next 4 years. I don't count a phone call for 5 minutes 2-3 times a week participating. I don't call stopping by to visit for twenty minutes once a month participating. The one thing that is different between him and Mystery is that he didn't know what he was missing, because he was that much younger.
"Motor driven" is a description often used. A lot of boys are! Show me one that's not! I remember the HUGE differences with the motor differences between Charming and Glory and it's just a guy thing, I swear! This is absolutely more than that.
Very often Daddy thinks I choose too many battles. That there are a lot of things that I could 'let go' and not be such a pill about. Yes, some of them are dumber than others, like I hate listening to people chew. I don't care what they're chewing, I don't really need to hear it from across the room or from sitting three feet from them.
Now the pedi seems to probably have it in his head that I'm the one that's nuts and too damn picky.
Before I start this list let me tell you that I KNOW that a lot of these things on this list are typical for a twelve year old boy!I KNOW, I KNOW! My point here is that when Jabber's meds are a their best he makes a f*ing effort to chill out. Most of these things don't seem to require an effort and it's not like the kiss-ass kid comes out in him either. Jabber is a lover, he loves deeply and with all of his heart. He really wants to make people he loves happy and for them to be happy with him. He has a LOT of years of people being pissed off at him for what now appears to have been completely beyond his control. Here is a list of some of the things that tip me off that a meds adjustment will be needed:
- Must touch something all the time - walls, doorways, railings, and anything that can be juggled/thrown/squished and is within a foot of him when sitting 'still'
- He must have his fingers in his mouth or on his face if there's nothing nearby to grab.
- He replies to someone speaking to him with "Huh?" 8 out of 10 times, and then is also 8 out of 10 times able to repeat exactly what was said because he really did hear it. He just wasn't ready to hear it.
- Only making efforts on things he wants to otherwise it goes flying over his head. Note that most of the time he will reply that he heard, understood and will do what you asked, but when it gets right down to it he simply moves on to what he had in line in his head. (Yes, this is under the I KNOW stuff!)
- When you tell him that he said he'd do something and he didn't do it he says sorry. It's an empty apology and basically meaningless because the effort to think about preventing something similar in the future is not there. When you point out the meaninglessness of the apology he stops apologizing and gets indignant, as in "How dare you call me on this sh*t?"
- Interrupts. Like Daisy does for pete's sake! She's three!
- Walks away while a conversation is still going on. Pretty much because he stopped listening. His head has moved on and if you try to bring him back it takes awhile to truly get his attention.
- Tell him to stop something and he always has to do it one more time. Then stop.
- Can't stand silence. Has to keep a conversation going and usually brings up something that he's already discussed within the last 3 hours at least 2 more times.
- Doesn't speak in complete sentences. I'm going to jump off this list and go back to paragraphs now because this one is a doozy!
When he enters the room I hear, "Mimi, can I do that?"
Do What?! Most of the time it's something that is on tv, but it could be the radio, the computer, or just something in his head that he thought of and he assumes that we know what's going on inside his head?! Help me!!!
Oh yeah, calling out the name of the person that he's speaking to EVERY damn time he is speaking to them. Sometimes you just talk to people, right? Do you say their name first every time? Well, because he talks so much Daddy and I spend a lot of time here hoping that he might be talking to someone else and if we're not the name at the beginning we're very often relieved that we get a break this time. We've learned to scan the room because we are trying to teach him not to say the name all the time thought. It's annoying to have someone calling out to you ALL the time, but also for me having him do it means that Daisy hears and it's not f*ing funny that she thinks she can call me by my first name. My name is Mommy to her!
Do I have to say it again? I KNOW that a lot of this stuff is normal kid/boy stuff, but when he's on his game these things are not a constant issue, all day long. I wish we could go back and have him diagnosed at an earlier age so he didn't have so many years of people dodging him because he was just 'too much to take'. We're in the middle of summer vacation right now. The 'dead zone'. The flurry of activity at the beginning and end are just that, either over with already or waiting to happen.
So the thing that I started to say here today is that he needs a meds change. It's not me just being picky and a nag, I just get the accelerated version of everything because I get it all the time, over and over again!
I'm not nuts. He has friends that come over and hang out. Some from school and some from the neighborhood. They come here. His best friend's mother told me last summer that she needed to have more energy to have Jabber come over and hang out with her kiddo, and she went on with a list of things that I already know about Jabber! He doesn't get invites to go hang out somewhere else because he's too much for anyone else. This year I am FINALLY getting a little bit of a break because Mystery has been spending so much time at TWrecks and Daddy said that she can't go if he can't, so she has to be willing to 'watch him' there or she'd have to put up with me here! Hah!
We've been using Con.certa, recently adding Ten.ex to it, but we just stepped down this month on dosage of the T because an increase in that was producing no good effects and he's been complaining of headaches. Next month we'll decide if there's going to be a switch and I want it to be before he goes back to school and starts sucking in behavior there. I want it before he is all the way into football season and might not pay attention and get hurt. He's supposed to be a linebacker this year.
While looking for graphics for this post I found a site that I hadn't seen before. (How is that?!) They talk a lot about "Attend" and that it is an OTC thing. Anyone have experience with it? I'd love to hear it because if it takes awhile for weaning from the other stuff and then getting this to take effect then that's going to suck for a little bit, but I just want him to be well. Know what I mean?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Jabber's back!
He spent an extra day with TWrecks and she brought him home last night. Gosh it's so nice to see this guy lately! He's a little fast-paced and if I had to have him with me every day, all day I'd probably be asking if he's ready for another meds adjustment. As it is he spreads himself around enough this summer that I can take him at full speed in spurts like this. Nobody says that we want him medicated to the point of being a zombie, but we do want what is best for him.
Another positive thing about having him diagnosed this past year would be his report card. I can't remember if I mentioned before that he made the Honor Roll, again. That's one of those things that it's ok to repeat over and over, right?! Three out of four quarters this year he made the Honor Roll and was pretty darn close to high honors. What's up with that one history class that he just couldn't get an A? I wish that I'd brought that up earlier in the year because I wonder what the criteria for an A was?
At any rate, he's had a wonderfully successful year. He didn't get "super grounded" even once (which includes the loss of electronic media for a period of time). So, we're not trying to 'drug him up' but help him to be successful. Compare this to last year with constant groundings for contact from school at least weekly, and even the week of daily contacts leading to a suspension for not making good behavior choices, this year has been excellent!
We went to Sparkles' house today and he went off with Ceecee and her bf to go swimming. Daddy took us out to a new local restaurant chain that serves turkey burgers, AND he has two friends sleeping over with him in the tent on our lawn! Tomorrow will be remote control 'trucks', skateboarding and hanging out with at least one of these two friends. He's not always easy to keep up with but I love being able to give him these cool experiences during his summer vacation!
Another positive thing about having him diagnosed this past year would be his report card. I can't remember if I mentioned before that he made the Honor Roll, again. That's one of those things that it's ok to repeat over and over, right?! Three out of four quarters this year he made the Honor Roll and was pretty darn close to high honors. What's up with that one history class that he just couldn't get an A? I wish that I'd brought that up earlier in the year because I wonder what the criteria for an A was?At any rate, he's had a wonderfully successful year. He didn't get "super grounded" even once (which includes the loss of electronic media for a period of time). So, we're not trying to 'drug him up' but help him to be successful. Compare this to last year with constant groundings for contact from school at least weekly, and even the week of daily contacts leading to a suspension for not making good behavior choices, this year has been excellent!
We went to Sparkles' house today and he went off with Ceecee and her bf to go swimming. Daddy took us out to a new local restaurant chain that serves turkey burgers, AND he has two friends sleeping over with him in the tent on our lawn! Tomorrow will be remote control 'trucks', skateboarding and hanging out with at least one of these two friends. He's not always easy to keep up with but I love being able to give him these cool experiences during his summer vacation!
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