Wednesday, August 20, 2008

On being effective

Daddy tells me that he really hates it when he comes home and I tell him about things or events that have taken place since Jabber & Mystery have gotten home from school. Basically things that he needs to deal with. I didn't think of a quick response at the time (it was one of those headACHE days) but by now I have! I think that I'm waiting for another opportunity and I hope to find one that doesn't present itself in a stressful situation.

Basically it's that he has rendered me ineffective. Whatever I say is not gospel, it is just what floats until Daddy gets home. He thinks I'm too picky and choose too many battles. That I should lighten up and just relax. Well, let's just give one example of relaxing here.

These two children do not know how to speak in english. I'm not a huge grammar nut, but they are really lazy and absolutely want to come off as 'cool' at every moment. A little ebonics, slang, teen-speak, and mostly lazy speech. Of course there is the internet sland and abbreviations at play here as well, using them as if they were part of the english language! Mystery no longer knows how to speak without using "was like, and then like, I mean like and other variations using like instead of what she actually means. Jabber is stuck with me here more and he knows that it's not just me crawling up his butt because I have told him many times that I do not want anyone teaching Daisy to speak like that and not know english in the first place.

He does have grammar issues and I'm really just talking about standard things like using complete sentences. I think with him some of it is his ADHD because he seems to move ahead to the next thing in his brain and forget that the actual subject or other important part of the sentence structure is missing. A lot of the rest is just lazy and since there are so many other lazy folks around him (his peers, Mystery and yes, Daddy and I sometimes too) that take shortcuts it is supposed to be acceptable. Yes, everybody does this sometimes. My thing is that they should know what the actual version of some of this stuff is too. At our household I don't believe that these two do.

The thing that we've heard a lot lately is the word "wid" or "wit" instead of "with". Jabber will write that on schoolwork and not be corrected and that drives me nuts. The teachers tell me that "Oh, they eventually 'get' stuff like that." When in the heck will they if they don't get called on it? Jabber gets 105% on his paper because the points that he was being taught were successful, but when you look at the paper it is really awful that they consider a paper with so many mistakes better than 100%!

If they're supposed to eventually get this stuff then maybe it is because the school system believes that the children are being taught some of this stuff at home? Daddy thinks that we are the ones that are supposed to ease up an they will get taught some of that at school! Ya think?

Mystery applied for a couple of jobs last spring. She had an interview for one and when she came home and told me play-by-play how the interview went and what her responses were I had to bite my tongue. I am not the least bit surprised that they didn't want to hire her! She spoke in slang/lazy terms, didn't seem to consider her responses before talking and was probably really nervous and giddy throughout. Yes, that could be an age thing, but that she didn't seem to have a clue was probably one reason that she wasn't called back. Shoot, I know that I wouldn't have hired her! And in her own little world where life is all rosey and on her terms she should be rich by now! She's been 16 since March and has nothing going to get her driver's license. Daddy got her the state book to read to go take the test at the beginning of the summer but do you think she's done anything? Probably has read 3 pages and stopped thinking that she'll cram the night efore she takes it.

I'm going offbase here! If I can't even be effective on some of the simple day-to-day stuff around here then he's just going to have to keep covering those bases. He'll have to be the one to put his foot down because he has not allowed me the ability to do so effectively here.

If you are in a step-family is there one person that lays down the law? What happens to the other person?

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