Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's that tone

The tone that drives me nuts. The tone that they don't speak to me in, but I get to listen to them speak to just about everyone else with. It's not just a teen thing because they've been perfecting this one for years. Years before I came on the scene. Trust me!

First of all you have to hear it. Picture one word. Daddy. Now take that word and put a whine on it. Now take that word (and whine) and add a WhyTF are you bothering me tone that makes it into a question. Now hear that just about every time Mystery is approached by her father last night. Jabber doesn't do it often (thank godness), but he does know how.

Daddy says "Here Mystery, make sure that you come over here and wash the grease off the stove where it splattered."

We hear "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then "I didn't do over there yet!" Whatever! We've BTDT and know what we're talking about! It wouldn't be the first time! Oh, and along with the WhyTF part comes a stop bothering me part to it that is either implied by tone or sometimes actually spoken out loud.

But doesn't that sound just piss you off to have to hear it? It does for me! When you think about it I can tell you for a certainty that she knows not to speak to ME in that voice because not only will I call her on it, but if I have to tell on her I will! Most of all just calling her on it works by now, but trust me that in the first couple of years she felt that she could speak to me in any way she wanted to. So why does she speak to other people like that? Because they LET her!

My guess is that most of them don't care. Or care enough. I can tell you that Daddy and his family (MIL, SIL) don't feel like bothering with redirecting. In my opinion they are all doing a great disservice to anyone in earshot and also to the child who learns that this form of communicating is acceptable and normal. This girl speaks like the world owes her something most of the time. And she wonders why she can't get a job!

Tell me please. Is it just me that thinks that this is nuts? That raising children who speak their mind without consideration for others is not doing them any favors? All about me. Ugh!

I've already raised a couple of kids and it didn't kill them that I didn't allow this form of expression. I guess it concerns me more because besides it being totally irritating to have to listen to, I have a young child here. One that copies from her siblings and believes that they are examples for her. It's funny but Daddy often shows that he has similar expectations of her that I do, but he doesn't have the same for Mystery and Jabber. Ugh! Like he already gave up on them?
Talk to me?


SMILF said...

Yikes. I always say to people that parents create the kid 9 times out of 10 and create how they act whether it be at home or in public. This is a good example. Obviously Mystery will think it's okay to do this because she is allowed. That isn't helping her become a young adult and teaching her how to act in the "real world" in my opinion. I have the same issues with SD just with different things. I feel your pain.

kwoneshe2 said...

I have a sd who does that. She is 19. It makes me nuts. You described it perfectly. Good for you on calling the kids on it. That is no way to communicate, and only makes other people's heads hurt.

Mimi said...

SMILF - You still have time! Save yourself! LOL! Sorry I couldn't help that! I wish I had nipped some things in the bud when this one was younger. I thought she could grow out of it?!

kwonshe2 - Yepper! And hurt, and hurt! I wonder why I get migraines?! NOT!